The problem wasn’t that I was having a bad day, but that this infection (after my horse Sammy Rose played hopscotch with my foot) was drowning me in stress chemicals. Maybe add some work stress and various worries about kids and politics. . . Well, life.
Whatever it was, today at 5am I was at Brain State 5, and not a pretty 5, but one of those nasty ones that a few spiral ups just can’t achieve.
The habit of morning joy
Since I have a habit of not getting up until I reach Brain State 1, I eagerly started using the Cycle Tool. All that seemed to do was dig me into a deeper hole. I was at a dismal 5, and even though my rational mind knows we can then transform our emotional architecture with circuit “findings” that provide wisdom, in that moment I wanted relief!
I used a light touch of a Damage Control Tool, which got me to a solid 4.5. Then I applied the Cycle Tool again.
This time I was in the perfect brain state to discover an exciting wire in my subconscious, something that would take me from 5 (or 4.75) to a brilliant, even life-defining Brain State 1.
Shake yourself freely without feeling depressed
My topic was: I’m depressed. My guilt trial was pretty murky: Hey everyone, I actually have some power here. I feel guilty. Why don’t I just do it? . . be happy?
Meanwhile, my cortisol-soaked brain was busy listing all of my failures in life. It was a long list.
The words that came to mind were: I owe my existence. . . Success.
I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. Then I burst out laughing. This life seemed flat and maybe even a little boring.
Time for a life review
The cycle tool served its purpose. It confronted me with the unconscious belief that was making me depressed, and at a brain state of 5 to 10. Had I been at a troubling but non-toxic state, I would never have discovered this rather sad unconscious expectation.
Maybe it was also my time in life, because according to Erik Erikson, I am now in the 8th phase of psychosocial development and have a natural desire to review my life. In my younger years, staying on my spiritual path was my top priority, but back then I never had to give up my hope for success. I wasn’t that close to finishing the story yet.
Make your decision!
Somehow the rubber now met the road. It was as if I was in an old Western and someone was holding me at gunpoint, telling me to choose one and give up the other. The Cycle Tool was the shooter. My whole body relaxed. Even if I “failed” in every area of life, it didn’t matter. What mattered were my spiritual choices.
What was different? The medication, pain and nausea increased my Brain State 5. How perfect was that? Instead of letting me skate, the Cycle Tool asked me to face my stress chemical-induced vision of abject failure and laugh about it. After the 5 comes the 1st. . maybe even an A+.
