When we reach for a spiral of our app, all hell breaks loose in our amygdala.
It’s about avoiding feelings, which is its own cycle. This isn’t new information for EBTers, because it’s reflected in a resistance to reaching for the app and following the brain’s resilience path by talking about what’s bothering us.
The first introduction is: “The situation is…” This should be a welcome opportunity to get rid of whatever is on our minds, but it is often stressful. We need to collect our thoughts and talk about what is bothering us. It’s so much easier to distract yourself (read: addict) with one of dozens of survival circuits.
Whether you are just starting out with EBT or are a seasoned EBT professional, consider finding your “I Suppress My Emotions” guide and see if a more global approach is helpful to your emotional health.
I get my X (need) from Y (an external solution)
What could that look like? Well, it means using the formula for all addictions, which is: I get my basic need from something that doesn’t satisfy that need and actually blocks my joy in the long run.
If you are interested in finding your “I suppress my feelings” thread, consider finding it. Simply start your cycle with: “The situation is… I’m doing everything I can to distract myself from feelings.” I learned early in life that feelings are bad, and I override them by overdoing them “I think a lot, and my whole family does that—or expresses it.” Feelings in explosive, unhealthy, and self-damaging ways.
Here are a few common unreasonable expectations to get your emotional juices flowing:
I exist by shutting down my feelings.
I get my security by avoiding my feelings.
I find my solace in resisting emotions.
I survive by denying my feelings.
Clean up emotional clutter?
If you’re like me, as soon as I discover a circuit, my emotional turmoil is revealed with images of when that wire was coded. I remember again the stomach pains at the kitchen table during stressful family dinners.
At the time, I didn’t have the skills to process my feelings effectively, so it wasn’t because I was addicted to emotional repression, but rather because I didn’t have an effective process for doing anything with my feelings.
However, any maladaptive pattern that arises from not knowing better can turn into a survival circuit because it becomes familiar and therefore rewarding.
My wire to emotional suppression was: “I get my security by ignoring my feelings and focusing on the feelings of others.”
Can’t you hear there’s a merge circuit lurking there?
If it’s not fun, it’s not EBT
Then the fun begins because the reward center of the brain triggers those dopamine rushes that come from self-awareness, truly knowing and understanding ourselves.
As you take this path to end emotional repression, you notice the desire to understand how it all began. For me, emotional repression went from lack of ability to drive at age 12, when I didn’t know who I was, and the pain was too much. Not having feelings or toning them down became a survival cycle.
Check with others in your support group. They may also have an emotional suppression cycle. As always, happy rewiring. The greatest joy in life is knowing ourselves at the deepest level possible, and perhaps discovering this circuit will bring you just that!
In the meantime, please check out the next blog for another way to avoid the emotional bypass.
