Laurie Victor Kay Is Done with Perfection

Laurie Victor Kay built her career photographing public figures. Then came the shift: migraines, sleepless nights, loss—and eventually, a body of work that turns the visual language of perfection inside out. In “Apothecary,” prescription bottles glow like ad campaigns, self-portraits blur into memory, and vulnerability becomes the point. We spoke with Victor Kay about depression, visibility, and the unexpected freedom that came with letting go.

You’ve photographed public figures like Alanis Morissette and Gigi Gorgeous and built a career in commercial photography. But in recent years, you’ve turned to creating personal, multimedia works like “Apothecary.” Was there a specific experience—or a risk you took—that led to this reorientation in your practice?

Laurie Victor Kay: My “Apothecary” series began around 2010 as I approached 40. I had begun to question who I was alongside the many things that go along with being a woman as it relates to motherhood, working, beauty and societal norms. At the time, I experienced a series of very painful headaches that required an MRI. My sleep issues started then as well. I was questioning everything from how women judge other women based on superficial items to my diagnoses and need for medicine. I always struggled taking medication and started to see the pill bottles as something beyond. This was when the greater idea of “Apothecary” came to me.  

I envisioned a work by Salvador Dali where the woman had drawers as her torso. I grew up with several of his prints in our home and it was a natural thing that my mind would focus on. I thought about me as this woman with all these compartmentalized pieces. 

Since then my practice has definitely taken a sharp turn, especially spanning 2022 to now. I turned 50, my kids left for college, I had major surgery in each of my hands, I lost my mom to a seven-week battle with cancer and I moved into her home after leaving my marriage of 26 years, and I lost my dog Lucky, a rescued Great Pyrenees who was once my mom’s. There has been a lot all happening at once. My world became blurry and desaturated. All of this reoriented my practice to turn more deeply inward, of course, but also explore the larger questions and emotions we all share. 

Laurie Victor Kay on Turning Vulnerability Into Art

In another interview, you mentioned experiencing anxiety and depression during the creation of “Apothecary.” Can you share more about how this series developed and what role personal vulnerability played in creating the work?

Laurie Victor Kay: The role of vulnerability is everything to me in this work. Letting people into my mind, my world, my subconscious is a choice I’ve made because I believe my own artistic truth is more powerful when I allow others to see these internal spaces. My struggle with severe depression, anxiety and insomnia took over so much of my life. At the time, I was holding so much of this inside of my body. The symptoms came out in many ways and I was still trying to appear like I was OK. I journal a lot and it is precisely within the pages of my journals that this ability to look deeply at the self grew. I want to let others see the messier parts of who I am because I believe that others might also have similar struggles and find my honesty powerful.  

Ultimately, I created this series for myself, but that’s the best way to connect with your work and in turn have your work connect with the world.

I have always turned to art for my own therapy. I learned this while studying art at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. As a young woman, I struggled with eating disorders. This isn’t something I’ve shared in interviews very often. Throughout my teenage years and early twenties, I went through treatment. Perfectionism and societal and family pressures can be extraordinary. My mother struggled with anorexia her whole life, again something I rarely share. Because this is a women’s-focused publication I feel it’s appropriate to share. I want to help other women in so many ways right now.  

How Laurie Victor Kay’s “Apothecary” Explores Medication and Memory

The visual language blends the clinical with the aesthetic—prescriptions that glow like beauty products, mirrored pills arranged like delicate patterns. Was this contrast meant to question society’s fixation on perfection, or did it reflect something more personal?

Laurie Victor Kay: Visual language is extremely important to me. From the use of the singular image to the repetition I wanted to highlight using my personal items in a clinical, beautiful, evocative way that references the commercial photography industry and its perfect veneers of retouching. I’ve often used repetition in my work to deidentify the subject and allow the viewer to recreate it in their mind. With my Xanax and the journal writings in works like “Butterfly Blues” and “Cipher and Code,” I knew that by repeating and creating delicate patterns that the subterranean meaning would sharpen. I love double meanings and making people think.  

With the re-exhibition of the UNMC Healing Arts project in April, what did you hope new audiences took away from seeing the work?

Laurie Victor Kay: I’m thrilled that “Artists Hands as Instrument” was re-exhibited and I hope viewers were able to be immersed in these escapist worlds I was able to achieve using the incredible technology available in the Healing Arts Program. This work, like most of my practice, is about delving into emotional landscapes and visualizing the structural interactions between nature and the inorganic.

Do you have any other projects currently in the making?

Laurie Victor Kay: Yes, I feel like there is a creative fire at the moment in my practice. I’m happy to say there is a light shining after so much darkness. I’m currently working with Desmalter, a historic Parisian company that dates back to 1775. It is a dream project as I create original designs that are currently being hand-painted on the most beautiful totes and pouches I’ve ever seen. The story is so cool: Desmalter’s story and the story of how I met the owner last June in Paris. 

I’m also working with ALPA Cameras in Switzerland. This is another story of connection through being authentic. I loved working with the CEO, discussing so much beyond art. My lens and view of the world continues to evolve and grow and I’m so grateful. Don’t ever doubt the power of one conversation or one’s intuition on a journey. This is where collaborations begin. I cannot wait to share more about this soon. 

Featured image: This work is titled “Days of the Weak,” Apothecary, Laurie Victor Kay.