Jessie James Decker remembers going on stage to headline her own concert when she got a migraine attack. “Every note I sang felt like my head was going to explode,” she said. “It was terrible.”
This was just one of many moments where Decker felt like she had no choice but to overcome her migraine pain.
Decker has lived with this illness for as long as she can remember. “I suffered from migraines [attacks] “Even as a little girl, I didn’t understand what was going on for a long time,” she said. “I thought I just got a really bad headache.”
During a migraine attack, she often felt a dull, stabbing pain. “I felt like I had to close my eyes and lie down,” she said, noting that it was so much more than a typical headache that could be treated with an over-the-counter medication and then gotten rid of. “Sometimes it took days,” she said. “I knew it was more than that.”
When she turned 22, Decker met her husband, NFL player Eric Decker. After dating for a few months, she and Eric moved in together, and he started noticing a pattern and thought it must be more than just a headache. “I kept complaining about my head and he encouraged me to get it checked out,” Decker said.
With Eric’s encouragement, Decker underwent a comprehensive evaluation and was diagnosed with migraine disorder. “After all these years of not knowing what was going on, it was confirmation,” she said. The next step was figuring out how to care for herself and finding treatments that could help her.
Learning to prioritize self-care
Looking back on life with migraines before her diagnosis, Decker realizes that she probably didn’t have as much control over her health as she does now. “I’ve learned a lot over the years and gotten a lot better at taking care of myself.”
She admitted that she has always been someone who can get her way. “My attitude has always been, ‘Let’s persevere. Let’s persevere and get through it,'” she said. But after learning more about migraines, she realized she needed to prioritize both her mental and physical health.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution to migraines. “Some people try acupuncture, chiropractic, medication or holistic approaches,” Decker said. “I’ve tried just about everything because when you live with migraines you want to find out what works.”
She has learned to tune into her triggers and adjust her lifestyle accordingly. For example, a few years ago she was doing very heavy weight training and noticed that this was triggering her symptoms. “I’m naturally strong, so my coach kept pushing me to lift heavier and heavier,” Decker said. But every time she left the gym, she would get a migraine attack that could last for days. “My husband was the one who noticed the connection and said, ‘We have to stop doing this. The heavy weights are hurting you,'” she recalls. Since then, Decker has completely changed her workout routine. “Now I’m focusing on bodyweight exercises and lighter dumbbells,” she said. “I still have to pay attention because training can be a trigger for me.”
These days, when Decker feels a migraine attack, she relaxes in the hot tub, takes a bath, or finds other ways to relax and calm her body. “Sometimes my husband strokes my neck,” she said. “For me, it’s all about creating a calm environment and staying ahead of the game.”
For Decker, it has been a blessing to have a partner who understands the signs and can recognize them before she even says anything. “He’ll tell me, ‘I have the kids. Take care of yourself,'” Decker said.
She’s happy to reveal that, thankfully, it’s been a long time since she’s had a really bad migraine attack because she’s now much better at managing her health and identifying her triggers.
Read: Migraine Toolkit >>
Get in the way of life
One of the hardest things about living with migraines for Decker was not being able to express herself the way she wanted to. She remembered going to one of Eric’s soccer games during a terrible migraine attack. “The lights were bright, the crowd was loud, and I sat there suffering because I didn’t want to miss it. I persevered, but now that I’m older and have learned more, I understand that it’s okay to take care of yourself first.”
Since then, she’s learned that it’s difficult to give your best to others when you can’t be the best version of yourself. “When I feel good, I can fully engage with the people around me,” she said. “If I feel terrible, I can’t. That’s why self-care is so important.”
Decker has also had to learn to slow down her schedule because, as an artist and entrepreneur, she is prone to burnout, which she sees as one of her biggest triggers. “I tend to take on a lot because I feel like I can do anything, but overloading my schedule can lead to a migraine [attack]” she said. “I’ve learned to be careful not to put too much on my plate in a single day.”
How important it is to seek help
Over the years, Decker has learned what is best for her migraine prevention and treatment. Looking back, she wishes she had asked for help sooner.
““Like many people, I put off getting help because it was overwhelming,” Decker said. “You think about calling doctors, making appointments, dealing with insurance, sitting in the waiting room — it can feel like a lot.” She admitted that she probably ignored her symptoms for longer than necessary because she didn’t want to deal with the process. But she has now realized how important it is to get the help you need. This message is one of the reasons she collaborated with AbbVie on the Love in Mind campaign, which encourages people with migraines to have honest conversations with their partners and healthcare providers (HCPs), seek personalized care plans, and stop battling migraines alone.
“I want to be an advocate and help spread the message that you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence,” Decker said. “If something is wrong, speak up and seek help.” She reiterated that her husband played a crucial role in helping her recognize and deal with her condition. Your advice for families of migraine sufferers? “Pay attention to the signs and stay in tune with your partner.”
Read: How to Support a Loved One During a Migraine Attack >>
“My husband knows when a migraine is coming before I even say anything,” Decker said. “He’s learned my signals over the years.”
She also reminds people to talk about their feelings, both with their families and with health professionals. “Migraines are often invisible. It’s not like a broken arm or an injury that you can see,” she said. “If your partner doesn’t share what they’re experiencing, it can be difficult to know how to help. That’s why communication is so important.”
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