It must have been two months in my pregnancy when I told my dentist about it. Under normal circumstances, I would not have shared this big message so early to become a mother, but my gums were already bleeding, and my gynecologist didn’t want me to lose blood. And so I had to meet her to get a recipe for a certain gel. But after the initial wave of ecstatic congratulations! And “Welcome on the other side!”, Neha, who had her two -year -old hanging around with his Aaya in the clinic, gave me a flood of dark prophecies.
“Now just wait and see how your life changes.”
“Pregnancy is the simple part – it gets absolutely crazy!”
“You will be up until late at night. Sometimes I haven’t slept all night! ‘
‘Sleep deprivation is real. Your husband and you will fight so much – be warned. ‘
This made me amazed. It was an information overload and I couldn’t help but adorn myself. There was not a single moment when she shared something really positive about pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, even if her child was only a few meters away from her.
Source: Fii
It often happens with the expectations of mothers: pregnancy information invite many unsolicited comments from friends, family and sometimes even acquaintances. As undesirable as they are, they only come from women. There are bad warnings of delayed or lost careers, tense marriages due to stress and unfulfilled expectations, comments for “Just wait until …” to deliver with an almost sadistic tone, to name just a few. The news in all of this is pretty clear: “As a new mother, you suffer”.
Why do some women and mothers react in this way?
Some time later, when I asked why she flooded me with all the negativity, she told me: “I only said she! I wish that I knew everything when I expected! ‘What is funny is that Neha’s mother is a gynecologist based in Noida – you would assume that she would know better.
So I asked Dr. Sonal anand, a psychiatrist in Wockhardt Hospitals, whether some women really believe to spread quality information when they exchange negative experiences.
“Some women react emotionally to react emotionally to the pregnancy messages, since this can trigger unresolved pain from her own experiences,” she says, adding: “Perhaps miscarriages, infertility or even early births. These reactions could be a reflection of personal grief or loss. Sometimes the intention can only be to warn the pregnant woman so that she can pay attention to it. ‘
There is no doubt that motherhood hits like a truck. It leaves no time to process its effects.
There is no doubt that motherhood hits like a truck. It leaves no time to process its effects. After delivery of the baby, a woman is immediately pushed into an unknown world. With unresolved own feelings, the pregnancy of another woman triggers exhaustion, frustration and unfortunately even resentment.
Turn the conversation around motherhood from self -sacrifice and duty
There are many invisible workers who go to childcare. One could try to create a comprehensive list of all things that take care of a baby, not only after birth, but also during pregnancy and fail. As someone expected today, I will not be able to do justice to what is in my future.
Source: Fii
Perhaps this amounts to how we, as a society, consider motherhood as the highlight of self -sacrifice, duty, endurance, martyrdom, resistance in the silence and fulfillment of femininity.
After getting pregnant, I discovered how harmful the entire process of birth and birth is a woman’s physical and mental health. And when I surprised my gynecologists, she said to me: “That’s why they say Mother Earth and not the earth of father. Therefore you are the mother – your baby will always look up. You will always be held in a standard, not to the father. You are Mount Everest compared to the Nandi Hills of the Father.
Dr. Anand says it is essential to turn motherhood and instead concentrate on the realities of pregnancy, health and security concerns as well as on postpartum care, depression, loss of identity and careers.
‘In the event of planned pregnancies, the gynecologist can inform the couple about possible difficulties. Sometimes couples can only have open discussions before marriage. ‘The most important thing is the role of mothers in the house. ‘Mothers have to share their experiences with their daughters and sons. You have to talk about your pain and fear. A conversation begins and shows the true face of the so -called victims. ‘
Dr. Manssi Sharma, an advisory obstetrician and gynecologist at Motherhood Hospital. “It is important to educate young women about the physical, emotional and social realities of pregnancy and postpartum life and not just their idealized aspects,” she says.
Dr. Manssi Sharma, an advisory obstetrician and gynecologist at Motherhood Hospital. “It is important to educate young women about the physical, emotional and social realities of pregnancy and postpartum life and not just their idealized aspects,” she says. ‘This awareness should begin with open, honest dialogues and help them make well -founded decisions and to receive support if necessary. At home, this topic should also be discussed between mother and sisters and other family members and expose all myths. ‘
Raise daughters
Today, hospitals and health centers carry out several sessions to keep women up to date on their pregnancies. Some conduct online sessions to birth, pain treatment, lactation, physiotherapy and postpartum nutrition while offering individual sessions at the same time.
Negative accounts of other mothers affect the expected mother. Some things can be shared, others need a disclaimer, others have to be discussed in a confidential environment with a medical specialist.
Source: Fii
Although women are more informed about pregnancy and postpartum today than our mothers, the border between information and misinformation is blurry, says Dr. Anand. And professional intervention is necessary here. ‘People are dynamic with different needs. We mental relatives are trained to meet these dynamic needs. There is a difference between scolding/ sharing and advice, treatment. ‘
Imagine the postpartum roles within the family Instead of just making mothers too responsible
If the entire responsibility of the food and care of the baby falls only on the mother, it takes longer to cure (mentally and emotionally) longer. The new hiring of the postpartum roles within the family is essential if we want to break through this cycle and enables the recovery of mothers and not just their survival, says the expert. This means to shift from mother -centered care to a common family responsibility. “It consists of active partner participation when it comes to baby care, household work, emotional support and ensures the rest and recovery of the mother,” says Dr. Sharma.
The redefinition of motherhood begins with consciousness, honesty, empathy and education. The recognition of the value invisible workforce helps to create a positive environment in which mothers can really heal and thrive.
