Don’t let energy vampires in
Fast survey: Who is the best vampire ever?
Old school count? Queen of the damn? Everyone on the vampire diaries?
Well, stupid mortals, it’s none of it. I know that it sounded like an opinion question, but the answer is Claudia from the interview with the vampire. Also acceptable: Michael B. Jordan in sinners. Who knew that the “B” stood for blood? Brutally!
Vampires have talked under the entertainment since the 19th century when books were still one thing. But today there is a far less entertaining, human version among the United States, which is called Energy Vampires.
Energy vampires (no scientific concept) are people who unload their emotional energy. They feed on the general decency to listen to compassion and the willingness that can make them mentally and physically exhausted.
Perhaps the creepliest part is that you may not even know that it will happen and some energy vampires don’t know that you are doing it. “Usually people are surprised and do not put together two and two in terms of a specific person who drains their energy,” said psychiatrist Judith Orloff, MD, author of the “The Empath’s Survival Guide”.
Orloff noted that women can be particularly susceptible to energy vampires. “Women are susceptible to Energy Drainers because they often look at the best in humans, and it is important that they look at people realistically, since there are different types of energy vampires, for which women can be particularly susceptible, such as the narcissist.”
Here you will find Orloff’s tips to recognize energy vampires and keep your mind away.
Identify energy vampires
Unfortunately, conventional methods such as sunlight and mirror do not help you to recognize an energy vampire. But you can first ask yourself a few questions:
- Does my breast move every time a specific person enters the conversation?
- Do I need a nap after hung up the phone?
- Do I bind when the conversation is over?
- Do I have a headache or do I feel when I talk to someone?
- Are my energy according to certain functions, such as B. Family meals or work meetings, down?
- Do I feel criticized, accused or attacked in conversations?
If you answered one or more of it with “yes”, you may have to do with an energy vampire.
Types of energy vampires and how you can protect yourself
Not all energy vampires are the same. “There are many of them out there and some are worse than others,” said Orloff. “But the whole idea is to protect your health and energy and emotions so that you can have fun in life and enjoy life instead of giving everything to the energy vampires.”
The common types of energy vampires include:
The narcissist. Someone who is very selfish and charming. They attract them to compliments and initially seem to be very Team Edward. But as soon as you are wrapped, they are kept cold, retained and punished.
- Protect yourself: Be realistic with your expectations. Narcestrils lack empathy and stand in the first place. So avoid being dependent on a person or trusting yourself in a person who does not pay attention to your feelings and feelings.
The victim. This “poor” person always has as if the world is against them, and when things go wrong, it is always the fault of another. Sacrifice types keep on the phone for hours and if you offer a solution, it says: “It doesn’t work because …” and the cycle continues.
- Protect yourself: Let this person know whether they are interested in solutions, then they are more than ready to speak. Otherwise, try a three -minute call or chat. You can say: “I support you, but I can only listen to a few minutes.”
The guilt and shamer. With this person you feel terribly about yourself and have a sneaky way that you feel guilty if you don’t just get things perfect. You can fall back on verbal abuse, which is unacceptable.
- Protect yourself: If you can avoid all of these people together, do it. But if you can’t, do not try not to take the best of what was said personally and do not get into a longer discussion about your criticism of you. It is important to talk to someone who is positive after a confrontation to build them up and help them feel appreciated.
The constant speaker. We all met this. The person who brings her into the tightness at a party and never stops talking. And it doesn’t matter how much garlic dip you consume – If you take two steps back, this person takes two steps forward.
- Protect yourself: It can be uncomfortable to interrupt someone, but if you don’t, you will be there all night. Say: “I have to interrupt you – I have to use the bathroom.” Use a friendly but firm tone – not apologetically – to convey your message.
The drama queen/king. All sentences begin with: “Omg you will never guess what happened!” Everything is a disaster for the drama queen/king, and it never seems to stop.
- Protect yourself: Before you get too far into the drama, let this person know that you only have one minute before your next meeting or that your lunch is over etc. and do not ask any questions if you don’t want to go down the rabbit hole. You can say: “I’m so sorry that you are under so much stress. I will have good thoughts for you.”
The Ragenholisch. This type of energy vampire is deteriorated and expresses trouble that may not be about it or not.
- Protect yourself: If you can take on a wooden share of this relationship, do it. If you cannot do this, set clear boundaries like a no screaming rule and if you want to talk to you, you have to do this if you are quiet. A person who cannot control their anger or do not scream or say terrible things needs outside help.
Be your own buffy, the vampire slayer
Energy vampires will not only go into the night quietly. It takes time and effort to identify the drainers, set limits and create a garlic barrier to create their well -being.
The determination of limits is difficult, but the vampire slayer with a friend can help. “You can come back and talk about what happened when you set the border or what difficulties you had so that you can process you,” said Orloff. “Then you have a joint project – and it is a really worthwhile project to improve your emotional well -being and feel better in life, so that you are not afraid of all of these people of all of these people.”
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