It’s a new year, a time for new beginnings. This year, let’s look at something that affects us all: the idea of what it means to be a man in India. We are often shown a very specific image of a hero – strong, quiet, always protective. Think of figures like Lord Rama, Maharana Pratap or Subhas Chandra Bose.
What if life as a man in India was as diverse as the country itself, shaped by our different backgrounds, cultures and personal experiences?
They are certainly inspiring, but these stories often show Indian men a narrow path, one where they are expected to be tough, make sacrifices and never show weakness. But what if we said there was more to being a man? What if life as a man in India was as diverse as the country itself, shaped by our different backgrounds, cultures and personal experiences?
The harm of rigid male expectations on men
The truth is that this constant pressure to be the “strong, quiet guy” is causing real harm. It forces men to suppress their emotions and prioritize making money over their own mental and physical well-being. It’s a culture in which showing that you have problems, even physically, is seen as a weakness. The high number of Male suicides in India, as reported by the NCRBis a tragic wake-up call, a desperate cry from men who feel trapped and unable to ask for help. A more open and accepting idea of what it means to be a man could literally save lives and allow men to take care of their physical health without fear of judgment.
Breaking Free: Embracing a Broader Definition of Masculinity
And this narrow idea of masculinity doesn’t just hurt men; It has far-reaching effects and harms our entire society. This is where patriarchy plays a destructive role, creating a rigid system that dictates how men and women should behave. This system contributes to a culture in which women often bear the brunt of housework, have fewer career opportunities and face a gender pay gap. It is at the root of harmful behaviors such as domestic violence and workplace harassment, the NFHS-5 data shows.
Source: FII
The impact is not just on the suffering of individual men; It messes up relationships between men and their partners, children and even other men, creating a culture of dominance instead of real connection and support. When men are unable to express their feelings freely, barriers arise in their relationships, often leading to misunderstandings, resentment and a lack of intimacy. By embracing a more inclusive definition of masculinity, we can foster healthier, more equal relationships based on mutual respect, open communication, and shared responsibility. These changes can lead to stronger and more fulfilling partnerships where both people feel valued and supported.
Towards a future of inclusivity and gender equality
Fortunately, there is good news: India has always had different ideas about masculinity. We see it in our history and culture. Take Bahuchara Mataa deity worshiped by the Hijra community who shows us that gender is not black and white, or Mahatma Gandhi who showed a different kind of strength – one based on non-violence and compassion. These examples remind us that masculinity is not a fixed construct, but rather a spectrum influenced by culture, socioeconomic status, and individual experiences.
In fact, across India today we see men who are setting new standards: dedicated fathers, nurses, chefs, artists, househusbands, men who are not afraid to show their feelings. Groups like Mardon Wali Baat create spaces where men can explore what masculinity means to them outside of the old rules. Acknowledging these experiences helps us create spaces where all men feel valued and understood, regardless of their background or circumstances. This doesn’t just happen in a few places; It’s the start of something big, a sign that being a man isn’t about fitting into a box.
Source: FII
So how do we move forward? It is clear that we must challenge these outdated ideas and create a society in which everyone can determine their own path. This means we need to make some real changes, such as introducing strict paternity leave policies so that childcare is not seen as just a woman’s job. We also need better mental health services and campaigns that encourage men to seek help without shame. Programs like MenEngage and the Bell Bajao campaign have already made strides in promoting gender equality and combating toxic masculinity, but much more needs to be done.
A joint effort: building a caring and equal society not just for men, but for all
Beyond new policies, we need a fundamental shift in our culture, a shift in the way we view and portray masculinity. Our schools must teach children that there are many ways to be a man or a woman and that strength can come in many forms. Workplaces should be inclusive so that everyone can succeed, regardless of gender. Government employees and police must be trained on gender issues so that they can serve all citizens fairly.
We need to update school curricula to challenge old stereotypes and reward companies that champion gender equality. And most importantly, the media – from Bollywood to social media – must show us the many faces of masculinity: men who are caring, who show their emotions, who are human.
This isn’t just about changes in the law or what we see on TV; It’s about each of us making a conscious decision to be part of the solution. By dismantling these patriarchal norms, we not only help men break free from restrictive roles, but also pave the way for greater gender equality. When men are encouraged to share household responsibilities and child care, women have more opportunities to pursue their careers and personal goals.
This change can lead to a more balanced and fair society in which both men and women can thrive.
This change can lead to a more balanced and fair society in which both men and women can thrive. In this new year, let us commit to building a more inclusive and caring India. We can do this by having open conversations about these topics with the men and boys in our lives and creating a space where they feel safe to express themselves. We can support organizations like MARD, MenEngage and Mardon Wali Baat that are working for a better society. We can denounce sexist comments or behavior when we see them and refuse to be silent spectators. We can also reflect on our own gender biases and recognize that we all have a role to play in dismantling harmful stereotypes.
Source: FII
Ultimately, the journey towards a more inclusive and caring India, where everyone can be themselves, begins with each of us. Let us embrace the many different ways of being a man in India and build a society that truly believes in unity in diversity. This isn’t just a New Year’s resolution; It is a promise for a better future – a future in which every individual, regardless of their gender identity, feels valued, respected and empowered to live authentically. And that is a future we can and must start building now.
