When Katja Faber learned that her 23-year-old son Alex had been brutally murdered, she felt a physical pain as if her body had been hit by a truck. “From the moment the police stood at my door and told me the news that he was killed, I felt not only emotionally changed, but also neurologically and physically,” said Faber. “It was painful to breathe; my nerve endings were on fire.
When we think about grief, we often concentrate on the emotional tribute – the sadness, anger and confusion that follow the death of a loved one. But grief is not just a mental experience. It can manifest itself physically in a profound way, long after the loss.
Why mourning us physically influenced us
The reason why grief influences our physical well-being is that “we work with our relatives,” said Mary-Frances O’Connor, Ph.D., professor at the University of Arizona, clinical psychologist who specializes in mourning research and specialized in author of the funeral body.
“In order to think about grief, we really have to think about love and commitment. When we connect with our spouse or child, we form a dynamic system with you, and it means that every person is an external pacemaker for the heart of the other person,” explained O’Connor. “When a loved one is amputated by our lives, our body has to find out how it can regulate without this external pacemaker.”
This sudden disturbance forces our physiological systems to adapt and creates a cascade of physical symptoms.
Frequent physical symptoms of grief
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The way in which grief appears physically, depending on the person and the existing conditions that you may be able to have, it can be enough. Frequent symptoms can be breast pain, insomnia, appetite changes, digestive problems, a “lump of lumps in the throat” and cognitive effects.
However, it can also have a significant impact on immune function. “Grief is associated with morbidity and mortality,” remarked O’Connor, “what has to say that all the different diseases and causes of death increase when they mourn.”
This includes increased rates of a chronic obstructive lung disorder (COPD), stroke, pneumonia, sepsis and flu, said O’Connor. “While I was researching, I wondered how can it be that every system can be influenced? But when we think that our immune system affects every organ in the body, it could make a little more sense.”
Studies from O’Connor’s laboratory and others have shown that the inflammation increases after the death of a loved one. A study published in psychoneuroendocrinology showed that people who suffer intensive grief had significantly higher levels of inflammation compared to people with lower mourning.
This systemic inflammation can affect the immune system and manifest itself differently depending on the existing health conditions or dispositions of a person. For example, someone with rheumatoid arthritis could have the deterioration of joint pain, while someone with asthma has more breath difficulties.
O’Connor experienced this himself: About a year after the death of her mother, she developed symptoms that were later diagnosed as multiple sclerosis. While her mother’s death did not lead to her MS – she runs in her family and she had other risk factors – the intensive stress of grief may have contributed to his creation at this specific time.
What is broken heart syndrome?
Some experience the “Broken Heart Syndrome” or what is officially referred to as “Takoto -Tubo -Kardiomyopathy” -a weakening of the left heart ventricular of the heart, which can create the symptoms of a heart attack, even if there are no arterial blockages. Nine out of ten cases are reported to women, and most of them are in women over 50. Takotsubo is usually not fatal, said O’Connor, but it requires medical help.
Nevertheless, other more serious heart problems due to grief have a difference from Takotsubo -Kardiomyopathy. A study published in the journal of the American Medical Association showed that in the first three months after the loss of a spouse, people over 65 almost have a double risk of experiencing a heart attack or stroke. An older study in the circulation of the American Heart Association Journal showed that the risk of a heart attack was the highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one, especially for those with existing heart disease.
O’Connor’s examinations show that blood pressure increases during the mourning waves, with the most important increases in those who have the most difficulties to process their grief.
In the first weeks and months after the death of her son, Faber’s symptoms belonged to extremely high blood pressure, palpitations, muscle cramps and headache attacks. It also suffered from memory loss, chronic tiredness, a weakened immune system, inability to sleep, PTSD, panic attacks and stress-induced early recording osteopenia or low bone density.
“I had been healthy, but I am 1,000 years old from one day to the next,” said Faber. Ten years later, she continues to have problems with her blood pressure and bone loss.
Studies show that cardiovascular diseases such as blood pressure and heart rate for most people return to basic lines within about six months. However, O’Connor emphasized that this timeline varies greatly between individuals. For those who suffer chronic mourning stress – where the intensity and frequency of mourning waves have not been decreased – the physical symptoms can exist, which leads to additional wear on the body.
Management of the physical effects of grief
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O’Connor emphasized that with physical symptoms there was completely normal during grief. “You are not broken because you feel grief in your body,” she said. Since grief is a time with an increased medical risk, these symptoms should not be ignored.
For those who experience the physical stress of grief, O’Connor and Faber gave advice.
- Get regular medical care: Many people who took care of an terminally loved person have neglected their own health. Plan routine examinations to identify problems such as high blood pressure at an early stage.
- Consider both conventional and alternative treatments: Faber found a combination approach helpful. She visited her health service provider and received medication to reduce her blood pressure, but also looked for alternatives, holistic treatments. She found that water therapy (training in a hospital pool), gardening, hiking in the forest and Pilates helped her.
- Combine with nature and gentle movement: “I spent as much time as possible in nature, planted trees and worked in the vegetable garden in the gentle society of my cats and dogs,” said Faber. Research supports this approach and notes that natural -based activities can help reduce stress hormones.
- Find Community support: “Find a support network in which you can express your grief fully, whether it regularly participates with other or online mourning groups,” Rat Faber. “Unlocked grief only appears later and inevitably makes us sick.”
- Note harmful coping mechanisms: “Avoid alcohol; try not to mediate yourself,” warned Faber and repeated O’Connor’s warning that the use of substances for deaf mourning can give physical stress on an already stressed body.
- Practice self -compassion: Give yourself additional time, attention and understanding in this physically demanding time.
A trip, no recovery
“It’s not about recovery or survival,” said Faber. “It is about doing slowly painful and exhausting mourning to get to a point of acceptance, a place where we can both mourn and find joy in life again.”
O’Connor suggests in a similar way that our connections help us. “We really honor our beloved people by realizing how our body has changed in their absence,” she said.
For those who are currently experiencing the physical tribute of grief, Faber emphasized that there is no timeline for healing. “In these 10 years, my grief has not decreased, but has become softer; it is directly below the surface,” said Faber. “It doesn’t take much for me to touch the deep grief that I feel when I know that my son is no longer alive, but in a way I now live more intensely and appreciate any moment of every day.”
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