The Weight of the Headlines: Living with Daily News of Crimes Against Women as an Angry Feminist
» Editor’s note: be a feminist is a biweekly column featuring personal narratives documenting the emotions, vulnerabilities, and innermost contradictions each feminist encounters as she attempts to enforce varying degrees of patriarchy in private, professional, and public spaces. You can email your entries to ananya@feminisminindia.com
Every morning I look at my phone and the news greets me with a headline that feels like a wound. A woman is rapeda child is attacked, a survivor is attacked accused for what she wore and where she went. What makes me deeply sad and angry is that cases and news like this never really stop, and living with news like this as a feminist means feeling a pang in the chest that feels crushing but familiar at the same time.
As a feminist, or even with all of my attributes removed, it touches me deeply how no matter how far women have come, our bodies still remain a battlefield where power, control, and entitlement play out every day.
Read the news as a feminist
What also worries me is the way people around me react to it. rape in the capital, Acid attacks in a small town, sexual harassment, honor killings, dowry deaths – news like this is trivialized and only received with the dark feeling of déjà vu. Such “headlines” or “statistics” are not shocking, but they are “expected.”
Source: FII
There are days when my anger doesn’t come naturally, but comes directly out of sadness. The grief over the rape of another woman, the abuse of another child and the disbelief of another survivor increases until it escalates into anger. At first I feel the sadness, the realization that someone’s life has been destroyed, that another body has been treated as disposable, and then the anger rises. My Fury comes from grief, from the inability to accept that these stories have become commonplace.
It becomes tiring for me to spend time with friends who neglect even the most harmless misogynistic jokes. A joke about (female) drivers or the statement that women are “too emotional” sends me into a fit. These comments may seem harmless, but they are deeply rooted in the fabric of a society that already demeans and ridicules women.
What hurts so much is the juxtaposition: these are people I love, trust and confide in, who at the same time invoke the very patriarchal dismissals that I fight against every day. Is it actually a joke that somewhere out there women are risking their lives for this? Do I bring it up every time and risk being resented, which has greater repercussions? Or do I swallow the discomfort and carry it with me? This is the constant calculation I have to make as a feminist in everyday relationships.
What hurts so much is the juxtaposition: these are people I love, trust and confide in, who at the same time invoke the very patriarchal dismissals that I fight against every day.
Where I feel this anger the most is in Online spaces. You might think that a bad man has to look and speak a certain way, but they are just ordinary men that we meet every day. News of sexual assault rarely comes without an accompanying wave of victim-blaming online, reflecting hostility toward women on the streets. An online post reporting cases of rape and sexual assault is met with comments such as “She should have known better,” “If I were here, I would never go there,” and “Why was she walking around in that kind of clothing?” flooded. and more victim-blaming rhetoric.
Understanding rape culture
In its brutality, rape is not just an act of physical violence, but a conscious form of control. Fear of rape determines women’s decisions long before the act itself occurs. It determines how women live their lives. What’s infuriating, however, is how quickly the conversation shifts from the perpetrators to the women’s “flaws.” It is not the rapist’s decision to commit violence that is dissected, but rather the survivor’s decision to exist in public space.
Source: FII
As a feminist, when I browse through these responses, the anger is overwhelming. Women are reduced to suspicious objects while excuses shield the perpetrators. Each survivor’s story is heard in the court of public opinion, where their reputation and future become an issue and their actions are questioned. Women are always expected to be “perfect” victims or to have their experiences questioned, ridiculed and ultimately denied.
There is also the growing debate about this alimony in online areas. As I scroll past the news stories about dowry deaths, I am reminded that the situation has become so normalized that such headlines no longer even spark outrage. Even beyond such extremes, I see how women continue to be punished for simply existing in marriage.
The maintenance debates always seem to come back to the accusation that women are “exploiting” the system. Men complain about being “trapped” by financial obligations, forgetting that women put unpaid care work, child-rearing, and years of jeopardized careers into these marriages. The hostility to alimony shows how much society still resents women who demand compensation for invisible and unpaid victims.
The hostility to alimony shows how much society still resents women who demand compensation for invisible and unpaid victims.
What I find particularly unbearable is the news about crimes against children. When I read about young girls being attacked at home or at school by strangers or someone they trust, I wonder if it’s worth bringing children into this depraved environment. Their stories stay with me longer, not because they are rare, but because we cannot protect even the most vulnerable.
Source: FII
There are days when I feel numb and skip another headline because I’m unable to process the information, and there are days when I’m overwhelmed with anger and can’t focus on anything else. But as a feminist, I know I can’t look away. Looking the other way would mean accepting silence, and silence enables violence.
The emotional labor Aside from everyone involved, I remind myself that it is important to bear witness. Every headline is not just a statistic but a life, a life poorly lived in the context of violence. Acknowledging them, talking about them, and refusing to normalize them is part of the fight. As a feminist, I cling to my anger to drive change and not let it spiral into hopelessness. It’s hard to live a life looking at the everyday statistics about crimes against women – it’s exhausting, it’s infuriating, it’s heartbreaking. But it reminds me every time why feminism is not optional, never has been and never will be.
Until the world stops treating violence against women as the norm, until survivors are believed and protected, and until perpetrators are held accountable, these headlines will keep coming. And as a feminist, I will continue to read them, mourn them, and fight for them.
Mema is currently a master’s student at South Asian University (SAU). Being from Manipur, her experiences there have shaped her deep commitment to the feminist cause. Women and their future are very important to her, which is what she tries to convey with her texts. She enjoys reading, writing and cooking.
