If you ask any of your single friends how they would describe their dating life, words like “pitfall” and “nonexistent” may come to mind. Not at any fault or lack of effort on their part, but largely due to the lack of viable options available. Because of this, the way that millennials and Gen Zers approach their romantic endeavors has drastically changed.
What was once a time for spontaneous meet-cutes and pre-date butterflies that arrived days in advance, has now become more of a personal obligation like any job or doctor’s appointment — your attendance is required if you want a well-rounded life. In fact, the integration of our dating lives with our day-to-day work-life balance is becoming increasingly normal as we make the most of our expendable time.
This, in turn, has resulted in a new dating practice called, “stack dating.”
What Is Stack Dating, Anyway?
In essence, stack dating (or stacking dates) involves adding a date to existing calendar commitments and scheduling back-to-back dates instead of allocating a dedicated evening or weekend.
According to Tinder’s 2023 Future of Dating report, young daters are incorporating the search for new connections into their daily routines, with 68% using dating apps while at work. Additionally, 32% have gone on dates during work hours, indicating a growing trend of blending personal and professional lives in the realm of dating.
If you think of it from this perspective, stack dating is a means to remove the formal, interview-style nature that comes with traditional dating. Have a meet-up with friends happening later in the evening? You’re already getting dressed up, so why not add a cute coffee date right before? Have errands to run in the city? Text that cutie you met at the bar to meet up after you’re done.
By approaching dating as a routine aspect of your life rather than a significant event, you can start to present a more authentic version of yourself.
Blame it on all the rom-coms and Black love movies we consumed growing up, but as a millennial, I can say that we’ve been inundated with images of falling in love as a passive thing that just “kind of happens one day.” We often find ourselves waiting to be chosen as opposed to taking a more proactive approach to our love lives. We wait at the bar to be approached. Lean on the comfort of our homegirls when we go out to parties. Or even swipe aimlessly on dating apps, hoping to land a date.
Stack dating, however, involves a forward strategy where individuals allocate specific time slots in their schedule for dating prospects. By intentionally integrating romantic interactions into our routines, we can build confidence and feel empowered to gain a clearer understanding of long-term compatibility with our potential partners.
Yes, dating can be time-consuming and even monotonous at times, but you can always tailor your dating experience to fit your needs, mental capacity, and lifestyle.
If stack dating sounds like something you want to give a try, consider the following.
1. Stack dating is dating made efficient.
Adding a date or two to your Google calendar doesn’t sound sexy, but it is an efficient way to block out moments for your personal life in the middle of your work life or when you’re not pursuing other interests.
One of the ways dating feels like this “big event” is that our brains have made it that way. But when you mix in the pursuits of love with other normal activities, it seems as approachable and manageable as any everyday task.
2. Block your time accordingly.
In an effort to avoid feeling burned out from your dating life too soon, space out your dates in a way that speaks to your own capacity. If you go on a lunch date, give yourself some time to collect yourself before heading to a dinner date. Went out for a late-night rendezvous on Friday? Schedule a cute museum date for Saturday afternoon. It’s all about balance.
3. Learn to compartmentalize.
As humans, it’s in our nature to compare one experience to the other. But when you’re going on multiple dates a day, it’s important to take each date for what it was in the moment so that you can be present for the next. One awkward encounter doesn’t mean the next one will be. And the information you learned about one person will have to be put aside while you meet the next. Compartmentalizing your experience allows everyone a fair shot in the process.
In all, remember that your dating life is just that: yours. Have fun with it and take the pressure off. The right one will come when you least expect it or when you schedule it.
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Featured image by Charles Olu-Alabi/Getty Images
