Amid the rise of misogyny in politics and culture, self-love is the ultimate form of protection and resistance.
The result of the 2024 presidential election is the largest indicator that the United States is slipping into an era dominated by anti-feminist rhetoric: The most qualified candidate, a woman who has served in all three branches of government, lost to a convicted felon and a man who does not respect the rule of law. Almost a month into the second Trump administration, the U.S. is grappling with these ramifications on a daily basis. The Trump administration has shown a commitment to upholding misogyny and limiting the freedoms of women and girls all over the nation.
Societal attitudes are shifting too: As reproductive rights are being stripped from women in several states, the glamorization of traditional marriage and motherhood is back.
This progress and pushback cycle is nothing new.
Tradwife content often features women conforming to traditional gender roles, running the home and raising children, all while camera-ready. It sells a life of serving others at the expense of personal growth as a fantasy for young women to aspire to. Hannah Neelman, an influencer, gave up her education at Juilliard to get married, raise children and run a farm. Nara Smith, a model and influencer, has been applauded for the labor-intensive homemade meals she makes for her husband and kids.
While they may not say it outright, tradwife content implies that homemaking is these women’s only vocation—which is not the reality. Many of these entrepreneurs and content creators have turned their homemaking into a lucrative business. (Neelman runs Ballerina Farm, and Smith continues her career as a model.) This false narrative makes young girls feel that giving up on their aspirations and running a home in order for financial comfort is a sustainable choice for their future.
The idolization of tradwife influencers by young women and girls is dangerous: It promotes an unachievable lifestyle for the average person, repackaging submitting to patriarchal norms as a form of empowerment. But most alarmingly, it promotes unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Women in highly traditional marriages where men control the finances and hold the power often experience higher rates of depression and lower levels of financial security, making it difficult for them to leave unhealthy or abusive relationships. In the event of divorce, these women often have to start over, often years behind their peers when it comes to work experience and retirement savings. Women experience a 41 percent decline in household income in the year following a divorce, whereas men see a 21 percent decrease. And women who return to the workforce after a career gap often never catch up to their full earning potential.
Tradwives also fail to cover the harsh realities of motherhood, something other stay-at-home moms tend to do online. Sabrina Marie, a 30-year-old first-time mother, recently went viral on TikTok for saying she regrets making motherhood her dream. She challenges traditional narratives that romanticize motherhood and urges women to “dream bigger” and think critically about what they really want in life. From the physical and psychological toll it takes on the body and mind, to the drastic changes in life circumstances, motherhood goes beyond just keeping a child alive. Women should understand the outcomes of motherhood fully before choosing to have children.
Author Vironika Wilde once said, “Learning to love yourself is like learning to walk—essential, life-changing and the only way to stand tall.”
While relationships and meaningful connections can be fulfilling, your first love should always be yourself. Invest in self-love, strong friendships and relationships that center on women. Create a stable ground for yourself—far more valuable than any material comforts a man could offer you. Support yourself and other women to lead independent lives that decenter men. Protect your own individual peace, especially during this challenging cultural and political time.
Feminists in generations prior have worked hard for the same resources and opportunities as men—and it’s paying off. Despite higher education starting off as a predominately male institution, women have been outpacing men in college enrollment and graduation. After the Equal Credit Opportunity Act was passed in 1974, women were finally able to have control of their own finances by opening a bank account and building their credit.
The patriarchy thrives on limiting women’s access to resources and opportunities and inhibiting autonomy. A woman’s pursuit of autonomy is a vital act of resistance against this oppressive system.
Resources to Get You Started on Self-Love
Career Influencers
- Cathryn Patterson is an advocate for moms and ex-tech workers. Patterson offers tips on hiring trends, closing the wealth gap, and navigating/evaluating company culture.
- Hanna Goefft has a TikTok account with a focus on networking, reputation-building and salary negotiation.
- Mia Williams is the founder of The Colors of Her Success. She empowers women with advice on mentorship and navigating work as an introverted Black woman.
- Selena Rezvani is a TEDx speaker and author who shares advice on taking paid time off, setting boundaries and handling workplace conversations effectively.
Finance Influencers
- Kara Stevens is a financial educator offering advice on building financial confidence.
- Chelsea Fagan is the founder and CEO of The Financial Diet, a channel dedicated to empowering women to manage money wisely. She covers a variety of topics related to money, including overconsumption and navigating friendships with a variety of income levels.
- Jamila Souffrant is a content creator who shares tips on budgeting and wealth-building.
- Berna Anat is a dynamic financial educator providing practical advice on banking, taxes and financial empowerment.
As women, we must prioritize our education, career, passion projects, just-for-fun hobbies and financial independence over romantic relationships. Love yourself first—because that is the foundation for a life of strength, freedom and lasting happiness.
