As we move into a new year, it’s time for a fresh approach. In 2024, you may have given energy and time to keep pushing through to get better, achieve something, or change something. Don’t get me wrong, this is how many goals are accomplished. Yet gaining clarity about areas in your life that are draining you, causing frustration or not serving your goal can help you eliminate old patterns that are on repeat.
What’s Not Working?
Just this once, challenge yourself to take a good look at your year with this unique angle, and see if it produces fresh change: What’s not working?
I read a comment in a news column recently that tweaked my interest. A person had responded to this question, “What’s the best thing a psychiatrist has ever said to you?” The answer was, “You’ve struggled with this way too long. Tell me what’s not working.” He was then able to tell his painful story while the psychiatrist sat and listened. This guided their work together for better results. In this case, the angle of what’s not working was actually life changing.
“If your best isn’t working it’s not because you’re a screw up, it’s because you need something different. You need to apply that effort toward something that’s working instead.” —Alexandra Elle
Journaling About Your Experience
Kristin Renee illustrates in her column, Journaling Saves, how making a journal of what’s working/what’s not working, can clarify your focus for life. She encourages you to make a list under each heading, and then brainstorm each item without any judgement.
Just begin to write out what’s working/not working, knowing that you’re the only one seeing the list. Allow your answers to come out in all sorts of ways, without thinking of perfection in spelling or grammar. Through this list, you may be able to identify some areas (where you have expended energy unnecessarily) that you need to eliminate, tweak, or attack from a different angle.
For example, if you are getting up at 5 a.m. daily to exercise, kudos to you! But if you are constantly tired and unable to concentrate during your day due to lost sleep, can you reevaluate? Maybe you’re trying to stick with a relationship or a job that causes intense frustration and stress. Is it time for a change in some way? Do you need to find a different path for growth and happiness? What are other ways to help the relationship or the daily fatigue? Writing this down is a simple way to begin.
Start from a New Perspective
Helen Sanderson Associates, a group that helps organizations and businesses evolve, encourages us to look at things with new perspectives. This list is not a failure list, but a focus on where some minor (or major) changes could be made. Working out where you have been expending energy without results will help change your focus for the year 2025.
Once you list what’s not working, be truthful with yourself about each item. Could it be that you’ve told yourself you aren’t good enough, smart enough, energetic enough? Is there a limiting story that loops continuously in your head like that you’re too old, too lazy, or too dumb to accomplish this thing?
Maybe bossy limiting thoughts are what’s not working. To change this, write out those nagging thoughts in the not working column. Then begin to take each one and work on the internal dialogue surrounding those limiting thoughts. Changing negative, worn out, internal self-talk to a lighter, positive approach could be the change you are looking for. There are many articles and books to help you accomplish this.
A Path Leads to a Path
Tracy Kennedy wrote an article for LifeHack, called Ten Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When Feeling Stuck. She shares her grandfather’s quote has helped me immensely: “ …he always told us: a path leads to a path.”
Think of times in your life where this has played out. You may not have been clear on what to do, but as you took baby steps toward something, the next step seemed to be there. When starting my own business after retirement, it felt like a stretch for me. I found I was comfortably stuck where I didn’t want to be! Yet, one baby step led to the next. This is still how my business is moving forward! Baby steps lead to the next baby step.
Finding out what’s not working can effectively point you in a direction of realistic intentional goals. With our example of the 5 a.m. workouts above, adding a realistic modified goal of getting to bed earlier and to intentionally adjust your amount of quality sleep, can help your workouts be productive and sustainable.
Know What You Can Control
Remember, when you find the things that aren’t working, you do have the power to change them. This brings a sense of control to your actions and fresh motivation for the year ahead. One powerful way to give a visual to a future you want is to create a vision board.
Just spend some time looking for pictures that represent your hopes and goals or dreams of the future year. Put them on tag board and prop it up where you see it everyday. It’s a positive encouraging way to envision what you are going toward in life, plus take a step away from what’s not working. Margaret is holding a live Vision Board Workshop for 2025, so join her for a fun take on creating a satisfying new year ahead.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you looked for things that aren’t working in your life? What have you identified? What can you do to turn your thinking into something more productive?
