Editor’s Note
At WE Magazine for Women, we celebrate the power of education, embodiment, and self-love. That’s why we’re proud to feature Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. , a bold and beautifully researched book that redefines what it means to understand female sexuality. If you’ve ever questioned your desire, struggled with body confidence, or felt like you were “not normal,” this book is here to tell you: you are more than normal—you are enough. It’s a must-read for every woman who wants to embrace her body, her pleasure, and her truth.
About the Book
n Come As You Are, sex educator and researcher Dr. Emily Nagoski delivers a deeply affirming and eye-opening look into the science of women’s sexuality shattering long-held myths and replacing them with empowering truths rooted in biology, psychology, and compassion.
“Come as you are—with all your baggage, your questions, your beauty, and your complexity.”
At the heart of Nagoski’s message is this: You are not broken. What you’ve been taught about desire, arousal, and pleasure is likely incomplete or just plain wrong. By demystifying how women’s brains and bodies respond to sex and intimacy, she helps readers replace shame and confusion with self-understanding and joy.
One of the most powerful frameworks introduced in the book is the concept of the dual control model of sexuality, a “gas pedal and brake” system in the brain that governs sexual response. It’s not just about what turns you on—it’s also about what turns you off. Recognizing these factors helps women see that low desire is often a result of context, stress, or pressure—not dysfunction.
“Sexuality is not a skill you learn—it’s a relationship you nurture.”
Nagoski also delves into the role of responsive vs. spontaneous desire, echoing insights later expanded upon by authors like Dr. Karen Gurney. She addresses body image, cultural shame, performance anxiety, and how to quiet that ever-critical “inner voice” that disrupts arousal. Using evidence-based tools, real stories, and heartfelt encouragement, she teaches women how to reconnect with their bodies, navigate their individual sexual response cycles, and redefine what fulfilling sex means for them.
Come As You Are is both a science-backed guide and a love letter to every woman who has ever felt confused, judged, or detached from her sexual self. It’s not about being sexier—it’s about being whole, seen, and free.
“You are not broken. Your sexuality is just waiting to be understood.”
Come As You Are is available on Amazon
About Dr. Emily Nagoski:
Dr. Emily Nagoski is a renowned sex educator, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author known for her groundbreaking work on women’s sexual well-being. With a Ph.D. in Health Behavior and a background in neuroscience and psychology, she brings a rare blend of scientific expertise and heartfelt compassion to her teachings. As the author of Come As You Are and co-author of Burnout, Nagoski is celebrated for translating complex sexual science into relatable, empowering guidance that helps women embrace their bodies, desires, and emotional health with confidence and clarity.
