Since 93% of marriages in India are arranged and only 3% are classified as love marriages, the country still predominantly follows arranged marriages. This is according to the Lok Foundation and Oxford University survey 2018managed by the Center for Monitoring Indian Economy (CMIE), which covered over 160,000 households across the country.
Why is our society afraid of love?
A panchayat was held on January 27, 2026 at Panchewa village, Ratlam district, Madhya Pradesh. passed a resolution that imposes a social and economic boycott on families whose children enter into love marriages or elope – no sharing of milk or goods, no work, no invitations, no social contact. The decree, which went viral and triggered police intervention with peace bonds, has reignited debate about why love marriages – particularly between castes and religions – continue to face strong social opposition.
Source: FII
“That’s because as a society we don’t want to leave our comfort zone.” There is a sense of hierarchy that is broken when people choose partners from different castes or religions. “They are afraid that their firmly established belief system will collapse,” says Priyanka, 25, from Jaipur. She is a Scheduled Caste Buddhist woman and is dating a Brahmin from a conservative family. He is the only son of his conservative parents.
“Even our friends assume beforehand that we won’t get married because it’s not possible.” We often assume that this mindset goes away with education, but that’s not true. People in the so-called elite and intellectual circles called me a trapper boy. They surrounded my friend and told him, “Date her if you want, but you can only marry a Brahmin girl,” added Priyanka, a media professional.
Harsh Malhotra, team coordinator of Love Commandos, an NGO that supports couples who face resistance, agrees with Priyanka. “I remember the case when a couple, an IAS officer and an IPS officer, approached us for help. They were so confused due to stiff opposition from their families that they were left with no other option. You like love and romance in films. But when your child chooses love, you want to kill him. For that child, the parent becomes a villain.” Harsh said.
Despite Supreme Court rulings in Lata Singh (2006) and Shakti Vahini (2018), who protect consenting adults from violence and coercion, love marriages – especially Cross-caste and inter-confessional – continue to call for exclusion, imprisonment and, in extreme cases, honor killings.
This kind of policing – subtle in cities, blatant in villages – shows how deeply rooted endogamy still is. Despite Supreme Court rulings in Lata Singh (2006) and Shakti Vahini (2018), who protect consenting adults from violence and coercion, love marriages – especially Cross-caste and inter-confessional – continue to call for exclusion, imprisonment and, in extreme cases, honor killings.
When young people fight for love
Sanjana Kumari, 29, a native of Bihar, was locked in her house in 2022 when her Kurmi family discovered her relationship with Suman, a Yadav man who lived across the street. “My cell phone was stolen and I wasn’t allowed to eat for days,” she remembers. “I felt unconscious. “An aunt helped me escape from the roof.” The couple eloped and married three times – each time without their parents’ blessing.
Source: FII
The first wedding took place in a hotel right after they escaped, so the hotel owners couldn’t suspect them. The second was on Shivratri as they wanted to have a proper anniversary memory after the hasty escape. The third was during Teej, just to celebrate the festival together. They lived separately for years – Sanjana in Patna, Suman in his village – and lied to landlords and neighbors about their relationship. “Society is harsh on eloping couples,” says Sanjana. “No one likes marriage without parental consent.” It was only after Suman’s father died and they had a son that they finally returned home.
This hardship takes a form at the community level in extreme cases, says Asif Iqbal, founder of Dhanak of Humanity, another NGO that supports this Love and couples who fight for it. He recalls an incident in Raigarh, Odisha, where an entire community was delisted from the NREGA list due to inter-caste marriage. He believes that women often face greater restrictions. Their families first try to take away their financial independence when they have a job or education by locking them in their rooms.
Sometimes a couple may be accepted by their immediate family, but that still cannot save them from society’s judgment.
Dimple, a 29-year-old graduate student, married Romain, a Frenchman she met on social media. After a year of long-distance relationship, they met in person in 2023 and are now married.
Dimple, a 29-year-old graduate student, married Romain, a Frenchman she met on social media. After a year of long-distance relationship, they met in person in 2023 and are now married. While Romain’s family welcomed her warmly and her own parents accepted the relationship relatively smoothly – happy that she was able to express her authentic self – relatives were far less supportive. They criticized her for “wasting her potential as a scientist” by choosing a chef as her partner, and some noted that “too much education ruined her” and that she “brought shame by marrying a foreigner.” What followed was online trolling and hateful messages from Indian women flooding her DMs. Dimple believes the backlash was due to a desire to “protect their culture” by stopping them.
Commenting on the general reluctance towards love marriages, especially interracial ones, she says India remains a performative and hierarchical society that breeds superiority, entitlement and an illusion of control. This mindset, evident in resistance to inter-caste or inter-economic unions, is reflected in families where individuals accept traditional frameworks as indisputable truth. Those who choose an unconventional life are often judged, even if immediate family problems are resolved – society’s disapproval remains.
Between love and hope
Yet despite all this hesitation, uncertainty and chaos, hope remains.
Source: FII
Rajesh Mishra, Marriage Coordinator at Neeli Chhatri Mandir conducts love marriage under the Hindu Marriage Act after checking that both partners are adults. “We marry her according to Vedic rituals.” “We perform the haldi ceremony, kanyadaan, phere and give blessings,” he says. “But trust issues and fear of social boycotts are the biggest hurdles.” The parents are angry. If they live in a shared apartment, why can’t they get married? Society is tough,” adds Rajesh.
“You can’t stop love,” says Asif Iqbal. “If you try to stop it by force, in the name of caste, class or religion, it will still happen.” Love will find its way.’
