Most of the 92 percent of Black women who voted for Vice President Kamala Harris — a smart, overqualified, more-than-ready Black and Asian woman who had a solid policy agenda on how to run the country — are bracing for the anticipated four-year continuation of divisiveness, insults and hostility from the 47th president. With the help of the majority of White women, the 78-year-old White man who was convicted of 34 felonies and accused of sexual assault and other crimes was elected to the highest office in the land. That is a huge slap in the face to most Black people as our communities have historically been overpoliced and overincarcerated. A disproportionate number of Black people have lost many rights, including access to certain jobs, student loans, housing and the right to vote, for committing lesser crimes. Watching MAGA White women continue to support White men failing up while Black people experience harsher treatment and are held to impossible standards of perfection has reached the level of untenable.
Many MAGA White women who voted for a convicted criminal to run the country might be surprised and do their usual shedding of weaponized tears when they realize that the vast majority of Black women have given up (for now) on the idea of a cross-racial alliance with them. We don’t have the energy to care. We are tired of being ignored and having our concerns diminished. Black women are tired of hearing about the concerns of the “working (White) class” when the majority of us are working class. We are tired of hearing about suburban and rural concerns (both words that infer “White”) when approximately 40 percent of us are suburban and 20 percent are rural.
Black women are tired of the “All Lives Matter” response when we proclaim that “Black Lives Matter.” We’re tired of “that was a long time ago” or “get over it” retorts when we mention slavery, yet are expected to endure flags, statues, markers, school and road names that celebrate the Confederacy. We’re also tired of the pithy retorts of “I tried” when “progressive” White women explain how they could not make inroads with the MAGA people they live, work, worship and otherwise interact with.
We’re tired of demands that everything we say and do be inclusive of everyone. Yet, we are excluded and ignored time and time again. We are tired of being hired for certain jobs only when things are a mess and we’re expected to perform miracles to turn things around. We’re tired of being social or institutional policy janitors. The clean-up crew. We rarely, if ever, get an opportunity to “fail up” as others — exhibited by the cast of nominees for cabinet positions — who are woefully unqualified yet given chance after chance. We’re tired of constantly taking the high road when others take the low road and endanger us. We’re tired of being called “libtards,” “coastal elites,” “snowflakes” or other pejorative terms when we simply strive to create a world that treats everyone with dignity, respect and offers all Americans equal opportunity to succeed.
We’re tired of trying to help MAGA White women understand that affirmative action, diversity, equity & inclusion (DEI) initiatives and Title IX have disproportionately benefited them. We’re tired of trying to explain to MAGA White women that abortion care includes lifesaving health care. We’re tired of helping MAGA White women understand that Obamacare is the same as the Affordable Care Act, which has benefited them. We’re tired of laying out how efforts to dismantle the Department of Education will harm their children. We’re tired of trying to help MAGA White women understand how most ideas the 47th president has will cause hardship for almost everyone, including them.
Black women spent much of the last few centuries taking care of White people — either by force or necessity. We have taken care of White women’s household needs, White children’s needs, were the victims of White men’s sexual needs — evident by the existence of people who look like me. We’ve cleaned White women’s houses, washed White people’s clothes, cooked White people’s food. Almost all of the Black women I know have parents, grandparents or other family members who have done this type of work. For generations, Black women have had to be acutely attuned to White people’s feelings (for our own survival). Only in the last 60 years have some Black women had some freedom to consider themselves first without prioritizing the needs and feelings of White people.
After this last election, Black women do not have any more energy or mental capacity left to care if MAGA White women’s feelings are hurt when we prioritize ourselves. We have multi-generational memories of White women’s tears causing terror, violence, and oppression in Black communities. White women’s tears have led to oppressive laws and dismantling of systems. We know some will want to deny this (as usual), but there are plenty of books about this. Many are banned due to White women’s unwillingness to being exposed to information they deem to be “uncomfortable.” There are also plenty of articles, movies and exhibits that capture Black women’s truths. If only there was enough interest and fortitude to read, watch and listen. But considering how some were so offended by the idea of the fictional character of a Black mermaid in a children’s film, we’re not holding our breath.
Black women are tired of holding out hope that the majority of White women will care (in our lifetime) about the same things 92 percent of Black women care about. We are tired of pursuing the lofty goal of having a cross-racial coalition where the majority of women work together. Decade after decade of constantly thinking about, studying and prioritizing other people’s feelings only to have our feelings and concerns dismissed, we are tired. Our tears have been ignored. Our talents and wisdom have been cast aside. We are done. #WeDone
In order to manage our sanity and regain our strength to fight to keep the rights our ancestors sacrificed for us to have, we will take the National Day of Rest for Black Women on December 2 and after to regroup and recharge. We realize that taking time for ourselves and not all women might hurt some MAGA White women’s feelings. But right now, and for the foreseeable future, we have no more left to give.
