“Comparison is the thief of joy.” We’ve all heard it. We muted accounts, unfollowed people, and convinced ourselves we were over it. And yet somehow he manages to sneak in.
You open your app and see the old 5:30 per mile pace from what you now call your glory days. You beat someone else’s personal 10K personal best. You take a look at your current stats and wonder how you’ll ever get back there. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you will be stronger. Maybe you’re slower. Anyway, this number does not define your fitness journey, even though it sometimes feels like it.
In a recent social poll, we asked readers if they’ve ever skipped logging a workout because it didn’t feel “good enough.” Almost half – 47 percent – said yes. Not because they didn’t move. But because the movement couldn’t keep up in their eyes.
Fitness apps are designed to motivate us. They track our steps, pace, heart rate and streaks. They provide structure and feedback. For many women, they are empowering tools. For others, they become a source of pressure, comparison and self-doubt. The truth is that both experiences can exist at the same time.
To understand why these platforms can both inspire and undermine us, we spoke to consultant psychologist Dr. Denise Bouah talked about comparisons, identity, life transitions – and how to use data without it defining your own self-worth.
Meet the expert: Dr. Denise Bouah, counseling psychologist, author of Sport Psychology for Children, director of Dr. Queenie’s Chess Academy for Women and Girls and Woman International Master in Chess.
Why do fitness apps trigger comparison?
When you set a fitness goal, it’s natural to make measurable progress. Tracking can be motivating and calming – many studies prove this. However, the challenge arises when this tracking is comparative rather than informative.
“If you’re on a fitness journey and have set some goals, you’ll probably want to measure your progress,” says Dr. Boo. “When you are exposed to other people’s progress reports through photo updates or performance metrics, you are likely to evaluate yourself in comparison to those people.”
She explains that the comparison often becomes more intense when the people you meet on your app feel similar in age, weight, or body type. In moments like these, the standards can feel deeply personal: “If she can do it, why can’t I?”
Even if we logically understand that everyone’s body, schedule, and stress levels are different, comparison is a very human reaction. The data makes it visible. The app makes it confrontational.
READ MORE: 20 fitness apps to boost your wellness journey
When motivation turns into self-doubt
It’s important to be clear: fitness apps are not inherently harmful. In many cases they are really helpful. WH has covered these benefits in many stories, and various studies have found that fitness tracking apps can contribute to long-term habit formation, increased exercise, better health, and more.
“This can be a positive experience if you focus on your own journey and use this type of data to encourage you to stay consistent,” says Dr. Boo. “It can be encouraging to see others embark on their fitness journey over time. It’s a mindset of ‘Because others can do it, so can I’.” This shared dynamic can strengthen trust and a sense of responsibility. However, the same exposure can be discouraging if the effort doesn’t produce the same visible results.
“It can also be harmful if you try really hard but just don’t experience the results that others have,” she explains. “This can be discouraging and lead to a decline in self-esteem and drive. It can lead you to think there is something wrong with you.” This is often the point at which the internal narrative shifts. The numbers no longer feel neutral. You start to feel like judgment.
READ MORE: 9 useful self-care apps for your well-being to download now
Why do we tie our self-esteem to metrics?
For many women, fitness is more than exercise. It’s about becoming stronger, healthier and more confident. It represents commitment to yourself. That’s why the feedback – from praise to “Make the ring!” listen. Notifications – can feel so meaningful.
“A woman who uses a fitness app is likely on the path to building and becoming the best version of herself,” says Dr. Boo. “She works hard by putting in the effort to build a strong, healthy and fit body.” Because this journey carries emotional weight, the metrics can begin to shape identity.
“Your self-esteem can then easily be based on feedback from performance metrics,” explains Dr. Bouah, “because it tells her how she is doing in her process of achieving and maintaining a level of physical fitness that she recognizes as sufficient, as she sees herself as a healthy, confident woman.” When that happens, a slower pace or a missed streak can feel like more than just data. It can feel personal.
READ MORE: 18 Feel-Good Workouts That Will Boost Your Mood, Stat
Navigate fitly through different stages of life
Bodies change. Life is changing. Capacity changes. “With change comes adaptation,” says Dr. Boo. Periods of high workload can shorten training time. Injuries and illnesses can abruptly interrupt long-term goals and cause feelings of frustration, irritation, or even helplessness. Emotional exhaustion can lead to physical exhaustion.
“It’s important to know yourself well so you can recognize when your mood and feelings change over time,” she says. “Paying attention to how you experience big changes in your life can help you manage your mental adjustment.”
As we go through different stages of life, including aging, our expectations may also need to change. What worked in your 20s may no longer work in your 40s. That’s not failure. It’s physiology and circumstances.
“So be kind to yourself by being mindful of your changing circumstances and adapting your fitness journey so that you can still maintain a level of physical health,” she says. Adapting doesn’t mean giving up. It’s about responding wisely to where you are.
Signs your fitness app may be affecting your mental well-being
If your relationship with tracking feels more difficult than helpful, it’s worth taking a break – regardless of what your fitness rings say.
Dr. Bouah suggests paying attention to these patterns:
- Constant app checking and obsessive comparison
- Every time you open the app you feel negative or anxious
- Low self-esteem due to feeling like you’re not keeping up with other people’s progress
- Your fitness journey no longer feels comfortable and constant checking of your data is related to it
“There’s a difference between healthy comparisons and obsession,” says Dr. Boo. “The information is intended to help you and provide valuable information about your progress. It should not cause you to feel excessively anxious and develop low self-esteem.” If your workout feels more performance-oriented than restorative, that may be a signal that something needs to be adjusted, not that you’ve failed.
READ MORE: Here’s how to actually do a digital detox, according to experts
Expanding the definition of progress
One of the most powerful mindset shifts is redefining what progress actually means. “Exercise is good for reducing stress,” says Dr. Boo, but “fitness apps don’t measure how calm you stay in a stressful situation or how you react verbally.”
She encourages women to informally track emotional and psychological changes in addition to physical ones. How do you deal with fear? How does your self-talk sound? Are you developing a more positive attitude towards your body? Are you gaining confidence because you realize you have become physically stronger?
“Don’t just stare at the numbers on a screen,” she says. “Use this as part of your feedback as you also notice the changes in your daily movements and emotions.” The numbers tell part of the story. But they do not capture the entire human experience.
READ MORE: Why practicing self-efficacy is the key to becoming the best version of yourself
Ultimately, fitness apps are tools. They provide data and help you identify patterns over time. “Fitness apps can be viewed as a good source of information,” says Dr. Boo. “Look at what it’s designed to do. It keeps track and gives you an overview of what your fitness journey looks like over time.”
However, your fitness journey is personal. You live in your body every day. “Keep your own situation in mind by thinking about why you may not have met your physical goals for the day or week,” she says. “Just because someone else completed their 10,000 steps that day and you didn’t, doesn’t mean you failed.”
Conclusion
Life happens. Things get hectic at work. Children get sick. Energy fluctuates. “[Fitness] is a lifelong journey, and that’s why we need to be flexible in our approach to health,” says Dr. Bouah. “Use the data your app provides – and then remember that you are a person with a unique body, lifestyle and unique circumstances, taking care of your health as best you can.” Embrace the human journey of it all.”
And if you’re reading this and recognize yourself in these patterns, know this: you don’t think about it too much. You are not weak. You are human. The goal is not to stop tracking. The aim is to ensure that the tracking serves you and not the other way around.
