Creating a healthy financial relationship with another individual, whether it is a spouse, roommate, or someone else, requires openness, understanding, and truthfulness. In addition, mutual respect is paramount. Working together to save for a desired purchase can strengthen your bond while selfish, unwise purchases can damage your relationship. Without realistic expectations and consideration for one another, the entire relationship becomes unnecessarily rocky.
In the case of marriage, money should be a topic of regular conversation, even before marriage. This will ensure that both of you understand each other’s financial perspectives and habits. While you shouldn’t necessarily call off an engagement over financial differences, some issues may be significant enough to require serious consideration. If you’ve already married without these discussions, commit to working through financial matters openly and transparently.
DON’T Be Accusatory
Accusing your financial partner of being “bad with money” or “financially irresponsible” serves no constructive purpose. Instead, acknowledge problems without assigning blame. A simple approach: “We’ve made some mistakes, let’s talk about how we’re going to fix them moving forward.” Solutions matter more than being right.
Budgeting Essentials
DO Create a Budget
Once you begin serious money conversations, establish a budget. Remember that budgets are living documents—you’ll refine yours as you learn what works for your lifestyle. Starting with an imperfect budget and improving it over time prevents major spending disasters down the road.
Roles and Responsibilities
DO Assign Financial Roles Based on Strengths
Some people naturally excel at budgeting and long-term financial planning. It’s perfectly acceptable to let the more financially savvy spouse or partner take the lead on money management, provided the other individual is comfortable with this arrangement.
DON’T Remain Uninformed
Both partners should understand how the budget works, why specific decisions are made, and how your financial plan is progressing over time. Ignorance isn’t bliss when it comes to family finances.
Family Financial Harmony
DO Include Everyone’s Priorities
When children are involved or enter the picture, your budget should reflect their needs and reasonable wants. Every family member has different priorities, and when financially feasible, each person’s important needs should be acknowledged and planned within your budget.
DON’T Force Others to Sacrifice Important Priorities
The person managing family finances must avoid favoritism or consistently prioritizing their own wants over others’. When people feel their needs don’t matter, it breeds resentment and feelings of being undervalued.
DO Maintain Detailed Financial Records
Family members should track their spending and demonstrate how they’re adhering to the family budget. A designated spot for receipts or daily expense check-ins can help maintain accountability and trust.
DON’T Hide Financial Activities
Whether it’s a small purchase or a larger expense, complete transparency and honesty should be the standard.
Personal Financial Freedom
DO Provide Equal “Fun Money” for Each Partner
Each partner should receive equal discretionary spending money. Even with tight budgets, $25 – $40 monthly per person can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and individual autonomy.
DON’T Police Your Partner’s or Spouse’s Discretionary Spending
Once you’ve allocated personal spending money, resist the urge to control how it’s used. Micromanaging defeats the purpose of providing financial independence.
Teaching Children Financial Responsibility
DO Give Children Age-Appropriate Allowances
Every child should receive some spending money to learn financial management skills including saving, spending wisely, and even basic investing concepts. This practical education proves invaluable for their future financial success.
DON’T Over-Control Children’s Financial Choices
Beyond basic guidelines, avoid micromanaging how children spend their allowances. If your child needs to save (from the designated allowance) for a specific activity or purchase, but spends their money elsewhere, don’t bail them out. Natural consequences teach valuable lessons.
Seeking Professional Support
DO Consider Professional Financial Guidance
Financial advisors and counselors can provide objective guidance and proven systems for success to assist with budgeting, planning, and money strategies.
DON’T Procrastinate on Financial Issues
Ignoring money problems is the worst financial decision to make. Procrastination can result in the loss of months and years of invaluable interest. Address issues promptly rather than hoping they’ll resolve themselves.
