Hello Guinness world records? I have a suggestion for your next book: Lady Gaga for the title World’s Strongest Ankles. The singer, actress, and fashion icon used this summer as an unofficial campaign for the position, wearing a pair of precariously high platform boots that prove her ankles could be secretly made of steel. To be fair, Mother Monster has had sky-high shoes in her rotation for years – those flesh-covered heels from the MTV VMAs still live rent-free in my brain almost 11 years later – but it seems like she’s been reviving her devotion in the past few weeks to the cause. And it’s pretty hard to ignore.
Day after day, Gaga appears in the Big Apple with her Big Platform Energy (BPE, peripheral device, but not to be confused with BDE) in all its glory. It’s almost like she heard our gasps as she strutted seamlessly over subway grids and sidewalks without looking down, and she thinks, “Psh, there’s a lot more where this comes from.” The superstar has mostly worn lace-up ankle boots with thick plateaus and 8-9 inch heels from a brand called Pleaser, their undeniable go-to place. She owns the stunning heels in a variety of colors including beige, black, and white, and has styled them with everything from pastel colored bike shorts to a billowing tablecloth-like dress. What can I say? The woman has reach, not just musically.
Seeing paparazzi photos from Lady Gaga’s recent BPE exhibitions raised a lot of thoughts and questions in my mind. To start with, I need to know: does she have a trainer who specifically targets and strengthens her ankles and arches? If so, I would be happy if you come out and reveal the workout routine, please and thanks. And where in God’s name does she keep her Pleaser boot collection? I mean, she needs to have a whole closet just for her because these babies take up a lot of real estate. Will she ever give us an IGS swipe-up discount code for her comfortable insoles? Because she has to wear insoles to do this, right?
I could go on brooding for days, but oh, you’d probably rather just look at more photos of Gaga rocking her favorite shoes lately, right? Say no more – read on for all of the OMG-worthy snaps and my ongoing comments.