There’s a reason the words “Believe in Yourself” are plastered on classroom signs and cross-stitched on pillows. According to experts and research, your sense of self-efficacy, or the belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do—be it completing a 5K or getting a master’s degree—plays a huge role in your success or failure.
While this may seem pretty obvious, developing (and later maintaining) an “I can do” attitude is easier said than done. “A person’s sense of self-efficacy builds over time as they experience life and, inevitably, failure,” says Jessica B. Stern, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, clinical assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at NYU Langone Health and Host of SiriusXM’s Doctor Radio. The way people react when they mess up a presentation or get their heart broken at work influences future success. “Can you handle frustration? How you interpret that or draw conclusions from that frustration is telling,” says Stern. If you constantly tell yourself that you will fail or that one misstep means you might as well give up altogether, you are less likely to succeed. Unfortunately, improving that self-talk can be a little trickier than ordering an inspirational pillow on Etsy.
The good news? There are everyday strategies you can use to strengthen this mental muscle. Just as you need to build your cardiovascular endurance before hitting the 5K, you need to train your self-efficacy in small increments to achieve lasting results, says Brian Licuanan, PhD, a California-based clinical psychologist and author of How to Leave Your loved one who is resisting in treatment. Science backs this up, too: A 2020 study of medical students showed that building self-efficacy improved academic outcomes. According to a 2012 study, self-efficacy was the strongest predictor of student success.
How to assess your self-efficacy level
The way you talk to yourself, especially in the face of obstacles, is an easy way to gauge your own sense of self-efficacy, says Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinical psychologist and associate professor at NYU Langone Health. A person with low self-efficacy will belittle their achievements and blame themselves when they believe they have made a mistake. “[They] might say, “Yes, I did that, but other people could do it better,” or “I didn’t do a great job,” or “It wasn’t that hard,” says Gallagher. “They add disclaimers to successes and double down on negative self-talk.”
At the other end of the spectrum, a person with high self-efficacy is understanding of their mistakes and speaks kindly to themselves, just as they would speak to a friend. Faced with failure, they tend to realize their mistake and start over with a new plan. It’s about recovery, not about setback.
FYI: That doesn’t mean someone with high self-efficacy thinks they’re perfect, says Gallagher. “It’s about keeping track of what you’re doing and what you’re proud of, otherwise you might find it a little difficult.” And those who have high self-efficacy still need to work toward their goals, Licuanan adds. For example, if you want to take part in Dry January, you shouldn’t celebrate New Year’s Eve with a bottle of tequila and expect to wake up a new person the next morning. In order for your belief in yourself to work and ultimately help you achieve your goals, you must first break those goals down into small, realistic steps, he says.
Self-efficacy vs. self-esteem: Many people have either never heard of self-efficacy or confuse it with self-esteem or confidence, says Licuanan. “[But] Self-esteem or self-confidence is just a general feeling of one’s worth and purpose.” Self-esteem is usually based on general emotion towards oneself, while self-efficacy is tied to motivation, performance and success. Learning to tap into your self-esteem and/or general sense of the world can also help you strengthen this self-efficacy muscle. For example, think about your place in your world as you go about your daily tasks. This will help you realize that others are relying on you and that you are making a meaningful contribution, says Licuanan, and it’s motivating to keep this in mind.
Below, the experts present six ways you can strengthen your sense of self-efficacy every day:
1. Make a to-do list of all your tasks and cross them off when you’re done
While you take it for granted that every morning when your alarm goes off you’ll work out, take a shower, and make breakfast—all before you head off to work—take a moment to Acknowledging and celebrating your “micro-successes” Help beginners build self-efficacy, says Licuanan. “From making the bed to being able to eat meals and going to the gym, we think of these as routine activities, but these are extremely successful activities.”
Start taking inventory of your micro-accomplishments by writing a to-do list for everything you complete in a day and crossing off tasks as you complete them. As you watch all of these small successes pile up, you’ll be more willing to step out of your comfort zone and tackle bigger life goals, he says.
2. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself
As previously mentioned, self-talk plays a huge role in building a strong sense of self-efficacy. If your inner monologue is somewhat negative, it can understandably be difficult to believe in your own success. This is where positive affirmations come into play, say the experts. Something as simple as repeating “I will be more positive, I will be patient, I will be successful” can have a profound impact on your state of mind, says Licuanan. And while it may seem silly to repeat something, especially a phrase you may not believe in, in reality you are unconsciously rewiring your brain by creating new neurological pathways. Over time, your brain begins to actually believe what you tell yourself. It’s happening slowly, says Stern, but it’s powerful.
3. Diary
Here it can be helpful to write about the day, what is currently happening and how you feel about it, says Stern. You can start by observing how you talk about yourself in your texts, or start by cataloging your accomplishments throughout the day—from catching the bus early to a great night out with your best friend. Taking the time to slow down and appreciate the positive moments in your life can help increase your self-efficacy.
READ MORE: The 15 best journaling apps to start the new year with more mindfulness
4. Look at the evidence
If you tend to think in extremes (meaning you’re either the worst or the best at everything and don’t have room for nuance), it can help you to stop and question yourself, says Gallagher. Let’s say you have a goal to drink more water every day. Instead of wondering why you can’t do it, look at the evidence. Are you making it easy to stay hydrated by carrying a water bottle? Do you talk kindly to yourself even when you realize at 6 p.m. that you haven’t had anything other than cold brew?
These are all steps in a positive direction, and although they may seem small, they are important. It’s important to look at this evidence and pat yourself on the back for trying, says Gallagher. Examining the facts versus what you tell yourself can highlight differences between your narrative and reality and help you get back on track and/or stay on track.
5. Listen to positive messages like motivational talks and podcasts
Listening to stories of people who have overcome difficulties to achieve their goals can also help broaden your perspective. Seeing that other people, just like you, have overcome their own struggles and come out stronger can increase your belief in your own success. Watching Ted Talks or motivational speeches on YouTube or incorporating an inspirational podcast into your daily routine is an easy way to boost your sense of self-efficacy, says Licuanan.
READ MORE: These 3 mental exercises can help you find your meaning in life at any age
6. Write down a list of your strengths
An easy way to silence your inner shit-talker is to keep a list of the things you love about yourself in your back pocket. Take a moment to write down your personal strengths, says Stern, whether on a piece of paper or in your phone’s notes app. Maybe you are a good friend or a hard worker. If your inner monologue tells you otherwise, take another look at this list. Bonus points if you keep it on your phone, wallet, or some other easily accessible place.
Although it’s not always easy to believe in yourself, developing and maintaining a strong sense of self-efficacy can help you achieve more and live a more fulfilling life. So next time you see a tacky sign or cross-stitch pillow that says “Believe in yourself,” take a moment and let it sink in. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?
This article by Jacqueline Tempera was originally published on Women’s Health US.