April is Autism Acceptance Month.
As Jacquelyne Froeber tells it
I always knew there was something different in my brain. And I was always looking for someone to help me understand it.
As a young adult, I went to various health care providers and was told that I had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and anxiety: all of which are true. And even though each diagnosis felt like a step in the right direction, I couldn’t escape the constant internal questions. What made me so different?
After college, I married and had two children. Life has been busy, but I never stopped trying to find an answer to this question. Then when I turned 31 everything changed.
One day at work, a colleague told me that her daughter had been diagnosed with autism. I felt my heart skip a beat. Her daughter and I were classmates in college and we seemed so similar. In fact, we were both homecoming queens at our high schools. If she was autistic, I didn’t know what autism was.
Taylor with her family, 2023
I began reading quietly about autism. I was already the girl with OCD, ADHD, and anxiety, so I didn’t want to throw anything else out there without being sure. But it didn’t take long for me to recognize myself in the description of autism.
I’ve always felt like I’m fluent in two languages but can never use my native language because I’m constantly adapting to the language I’m “supposed” to speak. It’s like I’m observing a situation and taking notes on how people interact – their tone of voice and their facial expressions – so I can filter myself before I can actually say what I want to say.
Other signs, such as Some things, like feeling exhausted for days after a social event, started to make sense.
I reached out to the classmate who had recently been diagnosed and she recommended her psychologist.
I was nervous when I went to the appointment. Even though I knew in my heart that I was 100% autistic, it was important to me to get a formal diagnosis. I process things by teaching and sharing because it helps me feel empowered. I knew I wanted to teach others about autism, and I wanted the diagnosis behind me to gain credibility. But what if she didn’t agree?
The actual appointment did little to calm my nerves. It was a sensory nightmare. The air conditioning was broken and it was over 100 degrees outside. Everyone wore masks because we were still in the pandemic, and a clear line separated me and the psychologist in the exam room. Between the masks and the heat and feeling completely overwhelmed – I just prayed that she would really see me for who I was.
Luckily she did. After the test, the diagnosis was confirmed: I was autistic! Hearing this felt like I was coming home, and the questions that had plagued me for years suddenly disappeared. It was like the camera focused and I could see things clearly. I cried with joy. I was so relieved.
When you don’t have the words to describe your experiences, it’s so isolating. There is a huge shame component, and so many undiagnosed autistic adults feel broken, feel invisible, and feel like they will never be understood.
Now I had the language to describe my challenges and differences, and I wanted to help other autistic adults so they could feel less alone and stronger.
In 2021, I started my YouTube channel, Mom on the Spectrum, to reach out to the autism community and share my experiences. I also saw the channel as a video library that my young children could watch one day when they were ready to learn about autism.
Taylor with some members of the Mom on the Spectrum community, 2025
Slowly the channel became more and more popular and I was hooked. But I wasn’t sure how long I could keep Mom going on the spectrum. I was in the middle of a difficult divorce and an interview for a new job as a software developer. Add in my family and my kids and worrying about the pandemic, and there never seemed to be enough hours in the day.
Then a thought occurred to me: What if I bet 100% on myself? I’ve spent my entire life pretending that I’ve lost touch with what I actually wanted and needed. Now I could clearly see that I could trust myself and make my own decisions. And that’s what I did.
About a year after starting Mom on the Spectrum, I made a video about the 16 characteristics of autism in women, and the video was well received. I immediately noticed new subscribers and a lot of interest in the channel. Today this video has more than 1.7 million views. And Mom on the Spectrum has more than 360,000 followers.
Starting my channel has given me a voice and a platform to help other autistic people understand their brains. It may have taken 31 years, but I’m finally in touch with my true, authentic self – and it was worth the wait.
Do you have any real women, real stories of your own that you would like to share? Let us know.
Our “Real Women, Real Stories” are the authentic experiences of real-life women. The views, opinions and experiences shared in these stories are not endorsed by HealthyWomen and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of HealthyWomen.
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