According to the World Health Organization (WHO) mental health is “a state of well-being that enables an individual to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn and work well, and contribute to the community.” It is clear from this definition that mental health is not just the absence of illness; It also includes autonomy over one’s own life, resilience in overcoming difficulties, and emotional balance in overcoming everyday challenges.
But for many women in India, especially during pregnancy and early motherhood, this ideal remains well out of reach. The social or emotional demands placed on young mothers often make it impossible to “cope with the normal stresses of life and fulfill their potential in the community.” During and after pregnancy, many women quietly struggle with anxiety or depression; What actually makes it worse is the fact that no one really talks about it.
In Indian society Motherhood is often romanticized and viewed as the ultimate expression of femininity. We have observed that new and expectant mothers are publicly honored with blessings, rituals and gifts; However, there is a deeper crisis hidden behind this cultural festival.
How common does it really happen?
Studies show that about 20 to 22% of new mothers in India suffer from postpartum depression (PPD). The exact numbers vary slightly, but give a relatively clear picture of how common it is. Even prenatal anxiety and depression are also common but rarely discussed. The Indian Journal of Medical Research published A 2023 review examining studies conducted in India over the past two decades, from 2000 to 2022. It shows that prenatal depression occurs between 3.8% and 65% and prenatal anxiety occurs between 13% and 55%, showing how common these problems are, even if they are overlooked.
Yet most women in India, even with severe symptoms, are never screened or receive any support.
“After my baby was born, I always felt exhausted,” said Kavita, a teacher by profession. “But I thought it was like that for everyone, so I stayed silent. Even if I wanted to share how I actually felt, I knew people would say, ‘It’s your baby, you have to deal with it.’ That’s why I never shared it with anyone.”
Mental health is often considered a luxury in India, and women’s health, even maternal health, is even more so. But you can’t just ignore that. If left untreated, it not only impacts the mother, but also affects the mother’s ability to bond with her baby and even affects their bonding harder breastfeeding.
The gendered weight of expectations
The mental health of new and expectant mothers is not just a medical issue, but a deeply gendered issue.
Piya (name changed) said, “The pregnancy was difficult for me. Everyone around me had advice about what to eat, what not to eat and what to avoid. I couldn’t eat what I wanted and I actually rested less than before. Everyone kept saying that more work would be good for me and my baby. I wasn’t allowed to go out. All these things made me feel vulnerable.”
From the moment a woman announces her pregnancy, she is bombarded with advice, judgment, and unrealistic expectations from all sides. Comments from family, neighbors, and even strangers make her feel like her body belongs to everyone. She is expected to smile despite exhaustion, to put the baby first no matter what, not to rest, to recover quickly and to become the ideal mother that society always imagines.
Dr. Shweta Sharma, a psychologist, said India today“Just like physical examination, it is important to see a psychologist at least once every trimester. She added that families in India pay attention to pregnant women. However, after the birth of a child, the attention shifts and families often ignore the emotional burden of being a new mother.”
The emotional work of being a “good mother.”
She is selfless. She sacrifices. She doesn’t complain. She endures. All of these things create the idea of a “good mother,” which is central to how gender impacts maternal mental health.
This emotional labor, the invisible effort to regulate one’s emotions to meet societal expectations, is indeed exhausting but is rarely acknowledged. Sometimes a mother feels so overwhelmed that it is difficult for her to say it out loud. For which she often blames herself. Why can’t I be happy? Why am I angry with my baby? These feelings make her feel guilty for needing space and often turn the guilt into silence.
Ghazal Alagh, entrepreneur and co-founder of Mamaearth, opened up about her own postpartum depression in a brave post interview with Official People of India: “Even though I loved my baby, breastfeeding was hard. Sometimes I would say, ‘Please don’t bring him near me.’ I used to feel guilty for even having that thought.”
Gender roles in the household: isolation and lack of support
In many families, especially joint families, new and expectant mothers are not allowed to make their own decisions. Elders decide what she should eat, when she should rest and how she should care for the baby. While some offer support, others apply pressure or criticism. If she wants to do things differently, such as seeing a therapist, getting help, or breastfeeding depending on her comfort level, she is labeled as “too modern.”
Jiya (name changed) said: “Constant advice from my mother and mother-in-law felt like drowning in a sea of myths. I am against doing many things that are traditionally expected of a new mother because they have no medical benefit but would lead to arguments with the elders. I had to constantly fight to stay in my comfort zone and set boundaries. Centuries-old traditions that have no meaning in a modern world are forced upon me, even if they lack a scientific basis. It affected my mental health and I cried every day.”
In fact, the unequal distribution of care also plays a central role. Fathers are generally not expected to share parenting responsibilities equally. In many workplaces, paternity leave is either very short or non-existent. This actually places a significant burden on mothers who are not only recovering from the physical stresses of childbirth, but are also left alone to manage the constant emotional and physical care of their newborn on their own.
A 2023 study titled “Maternal Time Investment in Caregiving Activities to Promote Early Childhood Development,” published in Frontier in pediatricsprovides a powerful insight into the unpaid emotional and physical labor of Indian mothers, showing that mothers of children aged 12 to 18 months in rural Haryana spend an average of 3.5 hours per day on direct childcare and over 6.5 hours on housework.
Hemlata, a mother of two, said: “When my first child was one and a half years old, I became pregnant again. I had to manage everything on my own, the housework, taking care of my toddler and at the same time all the physical and emotional changes of pregnancy. I still remember that there were days when I didn’t even have time to comb my hair or look at myself in the mirror.”
This persistent and gender-specific stress leads to chronic fatigue, anxiety and depression. Therefore, in Indian households, a woman is always expected to go into labor and is often naturalized, affecting her mental health and making her struggle invisible.
Body politics and shame
The changes in women’s bodies after childbirth are often treated with judgment and criticism rather than compassion. New mothers are expected to recover quickly and not look pale or tired.
“After pregnancy, I gained weight and always heard comments that you don’t look attractive anymore,” says Rita (name changed), a new mother from Delhi. “People used to advise me to exercise and say I looked out of shape.”
After giving birth, many women struggle with the changes in their body. This is also a gendered pressure that is actually shaped by unrealistic beauty standards expected of women. Society expects them to lose weight quickly, look rejuvenated and always feel energetic. This further becomes the cause of postpartum depression and anxiety.
Inclusive approach to maternal mental health
Improving maternal mental health care requires looking beyond hospitals and medications. It starts with changing the way we perceive motherhood. Women shouldn’t be expected to be perfect. Instead, they should be given the space to talk honestly about their pain, without guilt or shame.
One of the most important things is to include men in the solution. Paid paternity leave and co-parenting support can make a real difference. Just like physical health, the mental health of expectant and new mothers should also be a routine part of prenatal care visits. Counselors or social workers should be available to provide support in every maternity hospital.
Additionally, community support is also important. Moms who actually help other moms can ease feelings of isolation. Providing training for ASHA staff to recognize early signs of distress can be another critical step in supporting this cause. And we also cannot ignore the larger problems such as poverty, violence and lack of education, which increase the emotional burden.
Finally, technologies such as cell phones should be used to spread awareness about therapy and emotional support in local languages.
Postpartum and antenatal depression in India is more than just hormones or biology; it is specifically gendered, where unrealistic expectations, the unpaid emotional labor and also the soothing of pain and often the denial of rest are expected. Cultural norms, social expectations and neglect significantly shape women’s mental health.
If we want to truly support new mothers, we must start by challenging the very system that burdens them. Space must be made for their screams, their anger and their exhaustion.
In a country where we worship mother idols, we need to understand and care for the new and expectant mothers as human beings.
Himani is a graduate of Political Science from Ramjas College, University of Delhi with a strong academic focus on gender, culture and social justice. Her academic and practical experience includes research and project coordination in areas such as tribal entrepreneurship, environmental advocacy and community service.