As Americans, the holiday season — from Thanksgiving to New Year’s — can bring a mixed bag of joy, stress, anxiety and peace. We are bombarded with unrelenting images, advertisements, messages and expectations that we have a “perfect” loving family and idyllic holiday celebrations.
In the midst of this emphasis on family, food, friends, gifts, and glamour some are suffering. Some feel unseen, unloved, unappreciated, or underachieving. They feel they don’t have enough of whatever they desire or assume they’re supposed to have. And the reality is that not everyone is Christian. Not everyone has a family with a perfect spouse, children, house, gifts, or matching pajamas for Christmas gatherings. Not everyone has food or can cook or access delicious meals. Yet, year after year we pretend that’s the norm and force false outward projections of this fantasy.
The holiday season can be a time of joy for many, yet there are plenty who experience disappointment, heartbreak, loneliness and even trauma around the holidays. Some have overcome those who used the season to inflict harm and heartbreak on them by doing things like serving divorce papers or giving “gifts” of coal or rocks to show how much they don’t care. Then posted the cruelty on social media in order to further humiliate them. Some are alienated from family or have recently lost loved ones and spend the holidays alone or are dealing with emptiness and sorrow in the midst of festivities.
Some find friends or other communities to bond with. Others are stressed about money and/or feel pressure to spend money they don’t have in order to meet others’ expectations. Some have escaped domestic violence that increases during the holiday season. Many are struggling to keep their lives, families, friends, finances, health, living and transportation situation together. And many figure out how to survive and become great leaders because of their journey.
African-Americans have historically developed our own traditions and continue to follow them while also developing modern takes. Our ever-evolving ways of interacting with family, community, and society at large are grounded in symbols and values that have specific meaning to our culture.
For a growing number of African Americans, the non-religious seven-day Kwanzaa is a reprieve between Christmas and New Year’s. The focus is on the seven principles of unity; self-determination; collective work and responsibility; cooperative economics; purpose; creativity; and faith. Some recognize it by lighting candles every day while reflecting on the principles with small groups of people. There are also many public programs at various institutions that host events such as dances, festivals and concerts.
And then there’s New Year’s Eve, which many approach as a time for reflection, goal setting and/or partying. Some prefer to attend church for what is known as “Watch Night service.” This tradition started on the eve of 1862 in anticipation of the Emancipation Proclamation going into effect on January 1, 1863, which eliminated slavery in the 11 states of the Confederacy.
Then, on New Year’s Day, many in the Black community continue a long-held tradition of eating specific foods that symbolize certain hopes and dreams, including black-eyed peas for good luck, greens for prosperity, and cornbread to represent gold.
We are more resourceful, more resilient, more innovative, and more faithful than most who try to minimize us.
It is common for people to make New Year’s resolutions, with losing weight and/or getting in shape among the top. For the 92 percent of Black women who voted for Kamala Harris to be the next president, that getting in shape might mean physically and emotionally preparing to fight battles that we thought our ancestors won. But, as the saying goes, “what’s old is new again.”
Even though our ancestors fought against discrimination, we too will need to fight (again) against exclusion based on race. Our ancestors fought for the right to vote. Now we need to fight against voter suppression and gerrymandering. Our ancestors fought to build their own schools when they were not considered for others. We’ll need to fight to keep HBCUs from continuing to be underfunded and make sure we find more creative ways to teach our history as they have in Florida after it was eliminated from school curricula.
After decades of unequal access to opportunity, resources and support, we know that life is not a fairytale with glittering lights, perfect meals, perfect families in perfect houses with matchy matchy outfits. Most of us are only a few generations away from slavery or colonization, and our families are the ones who actually have “pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps” from almost nothing. Many of us have lived through hardships that the billionaire class of predominantly White men nominated for the next presidential cabinet positions seem incapable of imagining and apparently don’t care about.
The reality is that Black women are some of the most educated people in the country with over 38 percent obtaining college degrees, yet our median income is $53,000 compared with White men’s $69,000. In many ways, we have made great strides in recent years. Thirty-two percent of all Black homebuyers are women and 27 percent are single even though there’s a much higher rate of loan rejection compared to White people. Despite the challenge of accessing capital, an increasing number of Black women own businesses. Still, the numbers are small, and only three percent of businesses are Black-owned and 37 percent of those by Black women. But in this current anti-DEI climate, efforts to provide more assistance to level the playing field has led to some grant programs like the Fearless Fund that specifically help Black women being targeted and deemed discriminatory against White people.
The never-ending uphill battle that Black women face are some reasons why we overwhelmingly supported Harris in her bid for the presidency. She is one of us and understands the worlds and realities we live in. Her platform spoke to our needs. She came from a modest background and overcame enormous obstacles and broke down barriers to achieve unprecedented success in a world that was not created for Black women to succeed. But fighting against these barriers has only made us stronger as a people.
We are more resourceful, more resilient, more innovative, and more faithful than most who try to minimize us.
Since the election, we have had a few weeks to recover from our disappointment, then regroup and reenergize during the holiday season. We spent time with people we love who give us life, and reflected on where we’ve been and where we’re going. We have plugged into and been reinvigorated and reaffirmed through our traditions, faith-based activities, and culturally rich activities, and as our ancestors did, we will start anew with pride, hope and strength.
We enter a new year with increased fortitude, new attitudes, and a resolve to make it through and make it better no matter what. As Kamala Harris said, “We are not going back.” Only time will tell how many battles we’ll need to fight, and the strategies we’ll need to fight, but we are moving forward. Periodt.