As told to Marnie Goodfriend
January is Cervical Cancer Awareness Month.
In March 2022, I had lower back pain and started bleeding during intimacy and other activities. I felt bloated and tired, and the bleeding was concerning since I had my uterus removed in 2016 because I have endometriosis and adenomyosis.
When I had my routine Pap test in August, I started bleeding heavily. My gynecologist told me that my cervix looked “very angry.” The results showed inflammation and blood in the sample, which appeared to be consistent with bleeding during the procedure. My cells seemed irregular, but nothing to worry about, she assured me.
Something told me the bleeding after the Pap test wasn’t normal. I insisted that she take a closer look and she agreed to a colposcopy and a biopsy of my cervix. I was also bleeding heavily after this procedure so she ran more tests looking for anything including cancer but thought it was something else or nothing. I was frustrated. I wanted to give my gynecologist the benefit of the doubt, but I pushed for further testing because my cervix was clearly not healthy. During this time she told me she was convinced it was not cancer but gave no further answers.
A few weeks later, all the results came back except for the cancer test. My gynecologist suggested surgery to remove my cervix as it was very irritated and not healing. I had already had six surgeries for other conditions and told her that I would not have another surgery unless absolutely necessary.
On October 5, the same day my uterus was removed six years ago, my gynecologist called and told me that the results indicated that I had early-stage adenocarcinoma, a type of cervical cancer. She said they caught it early and immediately referred me to a gynecologic oncologist. I left my desk to call my mother and now-husband and went back to work. I remember my husband texting me, “Could you please stop work and come home?” I think my lack of reaction was the shock of the cancer diagnosis. I didn’t know how to process what was happening to me.
The next day, my husband and I went to the oncologist at Mitchell Cancer Institute. It was an amazing experience to feel seen and heard. The oncologist immediately recognized that I had a tumor and said I was at least stage 1. She performed another biopsy and I was scheduled for further tests, including a PET, CT and MRI, as well as another appointment to review my results. I was overwhelmed with decisions about how to move forward with my life: When and how do I tell people? How do I cope with all the tests I face and how will they make me feel?
At the follow-up appointment, I was diagnosed with stage 1B3 cervical cancer, meaning the tumor, which was just over four centimeters in size, had not spread to my lymph nodes. The doctor said my case would be submitted to the tumor committee to complete the diagnosis and treatment.
After further review by the tumor board, they concluded that I had stage 2B cancer because the tumor had just broken through the uterine lining. It was not possible for me to have an operation to remove the tumor due to its size and spread. Radiation and chemotherapy were my only treatment options. During testing and staging, I was able to continue meeting appointments and had the flexibility to work from home one day a week. Work was an escape – it distracted me and gave me a sense of control. I also spent a lot of time researching cervical cancer to understand what was happening to me.
Although my diagnosis strengthened my relationship with my husband, I knew I needed emotional support and community. That’s when I discovered Cervivor, a global group for cervical cancer patients, and through my cancer center, a local group called Sisterhood of Survivorship (SOS). Cervivor helped me understand what to expect and offered answers from people who had similar experiences. The local SOS group came to my aid by driving me to appointments and validating my experiences. I was so grateful to have people in my life who knew what I was going through and could be there for me when I needed it most.
I started painting as a hobby during the pandemic, but it quickly became a form of therapy during diagnosis and treatment and changed the way I create. Previous paintings during diagnosis featured colors, textures, and patterns that reflected my frustration. Later, my work became a way to give hope to my survivor groups. I wanted to express what it’s like not to be seen or heard as a woman and how you are perceived as a cancer patient.
A painting by Dani, 2024
In November I had surgery to lift my intestines out of my cervix to clear the radiation area and remove my ovaries. After that, I immediately went through menopause and began working from home until I began chemo and radiation treatments. In January I started feeling dizzy and had a hard time sitting upright. As a talent recruiter, I pushed projects forward as long as I could, but then I realized I couldn’t keep going. I actually felt good about quitting work because I could finally focus on my own care.
Luckily, my treatment was successful and I was officially in remission in August 2023. Chemotherapy takes its toll on the body, so I go not just for a Pap test every six months, but to countless specialists and take various medications to combat the side effects, including a newly diagnosed autoimmune disease. I was able to go back to work in April and was promoted to team manager the following year. I love my job, but I was also financially motivated to return. Even though I have great health benefits, there are still a lot of deductibles.
I also saw a therapist who helped me center and manage the trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder I suffered from parts of cancer treatment. I advocate self-care whenever I can. It’s not just about getting your nails or hair done. Those are great things too, but self-care is about going to the doctor and getting checked and not ignoring anything that feels uncomfortable. It’s about listening to the inner voice that says, “Something’s wrong here.”
Don’t ignore your health symptoms. Taking the time to figure out what’s going on with your body can save your life.
resources
Cervivor
This educational resource was created with support from Merck.
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