As a queer disabled person, to reinterpret the essence of humanity, while looking at the world as it exists today, in the eye and vehemently disagree.
Love is perhaps the most universal human experience for all the different forms it can assume. Due to systemic obstacles as well as the misconacts and prejudices, which are called up on individuals, it remains inaccessible to make people in their different forms, but especially when it comes to romantic love.
The interdlered basis of the queer and disabled experiences
After completing my MBBS, I find that my queerness and disability in mine are inseparable. It is very difficult for me to distinguish them as two separate units. They exist in the essence of who I am because I cannot see myself as outside of both. I cannot separate the queerness and the neurodian sequence in me; They form the foundation on which my identity is built.
Source: Fii
I was aware of my strangeness at a young age, and at the same age I was visibly neurodicizing. This led to chronic problems of mental health, and my very formative years were spent examining these topics. I did not fight with the idea of the queerness or with the neurodivers itself, but with the consequences and effects that these identities had on my life because it is not socially acceptable – especially as a child.
For everyone who does not meet the social norms, there is a certain subdivision that occurs in the minds of the people who passively absorb these social norms without critically thinking through them. These mean that people from minorities either avoid and pathologize or are worshiped to the other extreme extremes as “brave” and “brave”, which is just as dehuman. This approach also takes away humanity and agency from people from minorities and creates a distance and barrier that cannot be bridged. Responsibility is set up to the individual with a minority status.
The weight of the early consciousness
An invisible, but very tackle disability as a small child, while I had come to terms with my queerness at the same time, meant that I juggled the effects of these phenomena without understanding what was going on, which was all the more difficult. People tend to be repellent, and within their peer groups they tend to be excluded and alienated. Bullying played a major role in the design of my early experiences.
People tend to be repellent, and within their peer groups they tend to be excluded and alienated. Bullying played a major role in the design of my early experiences.
There was an independent internal environment that was filled with turbulence that had completely separated from the world from the world outside of my neurod negotiation, but mainly because of the way I realized that I was for who I am. The founding structures in my personality were presented by my queerness and disability, which meant that all of my social exploration from this foundation began.
Source: Fii
This also meant that I was very distant and socially removed. I don’t want to say introverted, because that doesn’t feel the right way to describe it. Rather, the way I get in touch and approach people is very different from the way other people do. I didn’t do well in group settings and didn’t fit in the crowd. This inability to fit me very deeply influenced me very deeply and felt very lonely.
The challenge of romantic connections
In this context, my romantic experiences were very few. Many of them have been influenced by my neurodiverse how partnership and romantic interest mean to me. It is a much more intensive experience than for most people. None of my romantic relationships worked because I was always in a position in which I was very imminent and almost impressive in my efforts. This is when I appeared, and that’s something that was not taken well by others. While I understand where they come from, this pattern was consistent in my experience.
This also means that I didn’t have many fulfilling relationships because it is difficult to come across compatible partners if they have so much on their plate. Even in strange circles there is a certain dissonance when it comes to neurodiver -related people. There is also a certain hesitation in neurodiving and disability circles when it comes to queer and queer people. If you identify yourself as strange and as a neurodiverse, the type of people for whom you have access is very limited.
Find a connection beyond convention: queer platonic relationships
A high glimmer of hope were the strange platonic relationships on which I was part of the Internet, which made it possible for me to be able to access people outside of my immediate vicinity. I think the existence of queer platonic relationships is proof of how love finds its way through the rigid boxes and develops further to seep into our lives.
I think the existence of queer platonic relationships is proof of how love finds its way through the rigid boxes and develops further to seep into our lives.
The community that I have built online and the queer platonic relationships that I have built is based on open communication and share what expectations they have from each other. I have known someone for a long time and we have a carefree, coquette type of exchange in all the years. Recently we had a very direct conversation about what we expect and where we stand together.
Source: Fii
Although it was an unpleasant conversation, I felt so nice that this is a room in which I can be honest and expect the other person to be honest without knowing what the other person wants.
My friends from hundreds and thousands of kilometers, in which I am very in love, really offer the warmest space and are sincerely in the way they appear in their friendships. This kind of authenticity is impossible to bump around me, and I’m so grateful for it. Queere Platonic relationships were really fulfilled for my soul. I would not say that they fill a gap; Because if there is a gap, they are not necessarily relevant for it – but they really fulfilled them.
Newly introduce what is possible
The person I have become today is the basis of who I am, strangely and disability is laid. I know that it looks very different for different people. Many realize that they are queer much later in life or later become aware of their disabilities, whether acquired or invisible. But that was not the case for me. My journey of love, connection and self -discovery again required how relationships beyond conventional structures can look out.
In a world that often does not see the full humanity of those who exist at the interfaces of several marginalized identities, the creation of authentic connections requires both courage and creativity. It requires that we do not consider love as a fixed concept, but as something that can be redesigned, redefined and redefined in order to be involved in all the possibilities that we appear in the world – friendly, authentic and without apology.
This piece was written with the support of Sanya Sethi, a student in the second year at the National Law School of India University in Bangalore.
This article is part of a joint initiative of feminism in India and Qable for Queer Disability Pride Month. Qable works at the interface of queer and disability equality in law and politics and promotes social integration through culture and legal integration by the community conducted by the community. If you are a QPWD -seek support, Qable is there for you. For all of us, is proud.
Dr. DHRUV is a 23 -year -old neuroqueian person, intern and multidisciplinary artist.