Kimberly Schlapman spends her nights on stage rocking out with her bandmates from the country band Little Big Town. Her fans also know her as an avid home cook who often posts videos of her latest kitchen creations – she even has her own cookbook! But when she’s not on stage or whipping up something delicious, she’s caring for her mother, Barbara Bramlett, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease.
“My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s 21 years ago, and at that point our family really had no idea what was involved with the disease,” Schlapman said.
At this point, her mother was living a completely normal life with only a mild tremor and a few other symptoms that the family had since realized were related to the disease. Her mother’s hand tremors developed around the time Schlapman’s first husband unexpectedly died of a heart attack, so the family quickly dismissed it as stress from grief. But then her mother noticed that her left arm had stopped swinging while she was taking her regular three-and-a-half mile walks with her best friend.
Looking back on her childhood, Schlapman remembered her mother having night terrors. “And now we know that this is the REM sleep disorder that is associated with Parkinson’s.”
Schlapman was in the studio with the band when she received a call from her mother telling her she thought she had Parkinson’s. “I thought: What? Parkinson’s?”
“And she said, ‘Yeah, I studied it a lot.'”
Bramlett went to a neurologist and her suspicions were confirmed.
“While her diagnosis initially came as a surprise to all of us, it did not have a major impact on her life,” Schlapman said. “But over the last seven to eight years it has really reached a new level and their lives are very, very different.”
worsening over time
Schlapman said her mother was just like her before her diagnosis: “Just go, go, go all the time, work a lot and take care of everyone around her…Now the illness has really, really changed her life. It’s kind of taking over everything at this point, just like this illness does as it progresses,” Schlapman said.
Bramlett puts a lot of effort into physical therapy and always works diligently to get her symptoms under control. In addition to physical therapy, she tries to eat healthy and exercise regularly.
“She takes Parkinson’s medication, which helps manage the symptoms,” Schlapman said. “However, her case is very advanced. She is in a very advanced stage with Parkinson’s disease. So there are a lot of things that run through her day that she has no control over. But her spirit is just incredible.”
The importance of early diagnosis and communication
Schlapman has experienced Parkinson’s disease firsthand and learned the importance of recognizing symptoms early. “I think early detection is so important because there are things you can do physically to kind of delay the effects or progression of the disease,” she said. To raise awareness, Schlapman has partnered with AbbVie’s “Changing the Tune of Parkinson’s Disease” campaign to give both patients and caregivers the opportunity to advocate for themselves and explore treatment options that meet their specific needs.
Because Parkinson’s has many different symptoms, it is important to report any new health changes to your healthcare provider (HCP). “And that’s why this campaign encourages people to just talk to their doctors… there’s no symptom you shouldn’t mention,” she said.
Schlampan has seen how modern treatments, like her mother’s medication for tremors, can make a significant difference. But the first step in managing symptoms is to let your doctor know. “It is never too early and it is never too late to talk to your doctor about new symptoms and whether they are related to Parkinson’s disease… Because Parkinson’s is so individual, doctors can create a plan that is as perfect as possible for the individual living with the disease.”
Finding balance as a caregiver
In addition to being a daughter, Schlapman is also a musician, chef, wife and mother of two children. Juggling everything and taking care of her mother is definitely a lot, she admitted. But she is grateful that she can devote so much time to caring for her mother.
“Like women everywhere, moms everywhere, we have a lot going on. We spin a lot of plates in the air, and that’s exactly what we do. God made us multitaskers and so we try to take care of ourselves as best we can while taking care of everyone else,” she said.
Schlampan believes it’s important for caregivers to find ways to care for themselves. On a personal note, she pursues her passion for cooking, often cooking meals for her mother and having her help her in the kitchen.
Schlapman’s brother and sister are also very hands-on, and the siblings work together to make sure they stay on top of their mother’s symptoms and treatment protocols. “I think it’s so important for caregivers to have someone to share and download everything with,” Schlapman said. She emphasized that caregiving definitely involves a certain amount of grief because the person you are caring for is not the person you have known forever; they have changed.
“And so I realized that I’m grieving for the person I always knew my mother to be, but I’m still happy that she’s still here and such a little fighter,” she said. One big thing that has helped Schlapman is constant communication with her siblings.
“When mom is having a bad day and we are with her, we call each other and say:
“This happened today.”
“That was really hard.”
“That was really sad.”
“That was really frustrating.”
Schlapman wants nurses to remember that they are people too and that it’s OK to feel frustration: “If a nurse is out there feeling frustrated, they shouldn’t feel alone because it happens to everyone,” she said.
Schlapman recognizes the difficulties of the sandwich generation caring for aging parents while raising children. No one has ever spoken to her about these challenges, and she believes people should talk more about this topic so they can prepare each other for what might come. “Even though my mother was caring for her mother with breast cancer, she didn’t talk about it much,” she said. “That’s why I think it’s really important that we all talk to each other – and don’t forget to take care of yourself, because you can’t take care of anyone else if you’re not in good shape.”
Watching her mother battle Parkinson’s inspired Schlapman to make changes in her own health. “I watch my mother and what she goes through. And I want to prepare my body as much as possible in case I have to go down the same path or another difficult path.”
Schlapman has focused on strength training to protect herself from falls, which both her parents have struggled with. “And I realized how important it is to be strong as I get older,” she said.
In the meantime, she continues to advocate for her mother. “I was just at my mom’s neurology appointment this week. And we mentioned a few things that were new. And so the doctor actually made a little change,” she said. “That’s the thing with my mom’s doctors. They make really small changes and we see if they’re effective, and then we can make a bigger change once we see the effect of the small change. And it’s about improving her quality of life a little bit.”
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