Essay by Nicole Cronkhite
This was the response I received from another mom when she heard that I (we) took care of homes and pets. I think she was trying to find some “in” to the conversation as she was sharing with me that she had done this a few times also, but it sat in me strange as she said this response to me twice in this casual meeting at a closing of a group.
I have been thinking about this interaction for a couple weeks now as I just was not sure how to process it and why it was sticking with me so awkwardly. My immediate response in my mind was, ‘there has never been a time in my sitting where that was anything I thought of.’ It actually made me feel uncomfortable and since this was a Christ following mom group, I needed to bring God into the digestion of why it bothered me. I mean why should I care if that is what another person’s interest in caring for another person’s home was?
The truth is, I don’t see these as opportunities to pretend anything. I know that these are opportunities of service while also receiving housing and food for my child and I. I know that God places me in homes to help Him with something that the home, the owner and/or the pets need that I am fit to give. I also don’t currently have a place of residence for us nor do I have much in order to attain something else for us, so there is an even greater emotion attached to my service – grace and gratefulness. It becomes easy to lose daily appreciation when you already have all that you need and then some, even if you don’t realize that you have more than enough. It took me having nothing but God’s grace and things in a suitcase to allow that kind of perspective and it became an even greater appreciation when I was brought to my most humble position living in a shelter in a different country.
I used to think I was humble until I was given this very real humbling opportunity – to only be allowed to eat what was given, only get quick cold showers, sleeping sheltered but with a bright light on all night and no pillow. While it was very real and tough I still found ways to be of service, appreciating all that was while trusting in the positioning and refining processing that God felt I was ready for.
“You look wealthy.” I was told once by a man that I was helping with his English speaking so he could travel without any language barrier. I was carrying my baby in the carrier and our backpack, wearing a shirt that was too big that had a rip in the front collar and shorts that I have been keeping around for five years now. I literally laughed at his very determined view of me especially since I was expecting a little payment for this casual teaching session with the hope that he would also pay for my coffee.
This is not the first time that I have been seen this way and while I can appreciate the view and how God is shining His richness through me for others to see, it is far from how I would rate myself. At the time of this appointment we (my baby and I) were living in Central America at a hostel for a week to figure out what the next step was for us. I had two paying house sitting jobs lined up to get to in the states but there was a month gap before getting to the first of those two jobs. I had enough money to get us to the states and with a little bit extra but not enough to provide for a month and far from what most would consider wealthy. Here I was talking with a professor who had his own home, car and ability to travel around for leisure who wanted me to help him with his English and yet he thought I was the wealthy one.
“I have to say that you are handling this a lot better than I would be if I was you on this call.” said a customer service representative that I was on the phone with when I lost two hundred valuable dollars to a gift card that didn’t function. “You know… I get that and honestly I have to give all credit to Jesus because a handful of years ago I definitely would not be handling a call or loss like this as well but there is just something about how He makes you smile through big losses, seeing purpose still.” was my response to which he said, “Yeah, I guess you can fear war but there is actually someone holding the nukes… perspective, huh?”, in his pc ‘these calls are being monitored’ way of agreeing with me that God is the ultimate and holds all in His hands. It was such a great one hour call which the Holy Spirit worked through it all in a theme of courage, wisdom and perspective. What happened at the end of the call is I was allowed the opportunity to pray for this man and his family, to which he said, “Big brother won’t approve but there is one greater in charge.” Through the ways I have evolved with Jesus and my faith I have come to see that often what seems like a mishap is really a placement for something greater. While he gave me great dad jokes through the frustrations of the call, I gave him a new spark and hope in the Almighty.
We are all different and have had differing life experiences that allow for a view to take root. This is where we get to practice our own grace because we have been given the greatest grace of all therefore all deserve as much grace and compassion as we can offer. Now, that other mom was not at the same table as me when I shared about how my life really is and the incredible story that God is using for His glory; she had no idea that house and pet sitting is our basics for living. It is very possible that in her mind, and lack of knowing my story, she could have been hoping we were bonding. I left that evening praying for her as it felt like there was an underlying energy to hand over to our Father, but now that I have been able to come full circle with His perspective in mind along with my own sensitivity I am praying differently. I celebrate and give praise as the man who thought I was wealthier than him shares his pictures of travels and I give thanks for the way that God so perfectly places me (each and all of us) to be His hands, feet and heart to be of service for His greater good.
Now, as easily as I share all this does not mean that each opportunity has been easy to be in, trust God through or even process but what I can tell you is that the more I have experienced and seen the more confidence I have in our Father for it all. I could probably share a story a day about how our own life shapes perspectives of others and how necessary it is to have heart and give grace. We are all in our own little bubble that is within the greater bubble of all existence, it is time that we let go of the fear of spaces colliding and remember whose we are connecting with what we are actually here to do. I hope that we all get opportunities to live differently, try on other’s shoes and allow for hearts to soften allowing the one whose love is the thread of life through all creation. We may never know the full impact we have on other people’s lives but just as others have no idea what we are facing each day, doesn’t it just make sense to have heart and do our best?
About the Author
Nicole Cronkhite. Single mom and writer living life with extreme faith, being of service for God’s glory and greater good. What started as my own journey letting go of all things in order to connect with God deeper while expanding impact has turned into a family mission as I raise my child with the standards of caring for all life knowing that God is in all and provides all. Blog posts written at wateryourworth.com while finishing the book and seeking publishing.
The post “I Liked Pretending I was Rich” appeared first on WE magazine for women.