“Enjoy the love bubble!” Said a friend.
“Enjoy this time after the commitment after the posting, it is something special to be in a small happy bladder,” said another.
WhatsApps like this always rolled in – and although I was deeply appreciated by the abundance of love that fell out of every message, everyone gently tightened the subtle knot in my chest. I just got engaged; And while I was – and I am! – I am thrilled to be able to marry and somehow felt that I was doing the commitment wrong.
I really couldn’t have been happier when my friend went on a knee a few weeks ago. We were a stay in England; The beach was empty and despite the bad weather warning on miraculous rain -free ones. He selected the perfect moment and I have never experienced a bigger boost of joy than in these few seconds when I realized what he was doing.
We went to a pub, had some champagne and faceahed our parents. I went on air; I kept looking at the ring on my finger and the words “married”, “wife” and “wedding”, which were always torn by me, small paroxysms of happiness.
However, when we came back to our accommodations, I felt small, inexplicable fear connections. We were both exhausted and had booked a solemn dinner that evening, so my fiance had a nap while I was running a bath.
When I ran the water, fear continued to build – and I couldn’t understand it. There was no part of me who didn’t want to be engaged to my partner. I love him more than anything and I can’t wait to be married. But the waves of discomfort rolled over me again and again; And when I stared at the water that flowed from the tap into the bathroom, I suddenly felt incredibly young. It was a bizarre feeling-I was strange homesick after my parents’ house, reserved in panic and mostly tired.
But I couldn’t find out what was going on with me. “Shouldn’t I be overjoyed continuously?” I take care.
We had a wonderful evening that night and a nice lunch with his parents the next day – but although the fear had been left, the feeling of doing it went wrong. We had a five -hour trip back to London and I thought we should certainly talk about the commitment and the wedding. But we were exhausted by all the emotions and listened to several episodes of Desert Island Discs. It was exactly what we needed – and I know that now – but at the time I kept thinking: “Shouldn’t we be in full” engagement mode “?
We came home this Sunday evening and went to work right on Monday morning. I taught an 8 o’clock pilates class and then made a 9-6 layer of desk. That evening we ate with my family what was great – I was incredibly something special to show my ring that my ring was incredibly something special – but I was aware of the mountain of work that I had to do the next day.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still doing everything “wrong” and that we should celebrate more. Messages from my friends flooded and I was grateful for them, but every time someone mentioned the word “bubble”, I thought: “Which bladder?”. I was still incredibly happy, but I didn’t feel cocooned in a kind of love nest after the commitment. We both only switched between functioning and scrubbing fat spots of frying pans.
I am not sure where I had the idea that we had to mark our commitment with a one -week (at least) celebration. Nobody had said that we should spend the specific seven days after the suggestion for the happy event. I think I had just seen so many friends who spent the days immediately after their engagements, which were luxuriously luxuriously in their new realities, and I captured the idea of the “after -week week” as a defined period of time that would never happen again. And I couldn’t stop worrying that this (completely imaginary) time that had glued the week on my laptop was slowly gluing from the defined period of time under my feet.
My partner celebrated with some friends on Wednesday while I taught a class at home. I was ready by 8:00 p.m. and spent the rest of the evening alone at home. “It’s not right,” I thought. It was not that I thought my partner should be at home – I had encouraged him to go out with his friends – but I noticed that I should also organize something for myself.
When my fiancé came home, I tried to tell him how I felt that I was worried that we should do more to mark this unique week-but mixed with all the feelings that were “wrong”. I was not sure if I should tell him anything about it at all. I emphasized how grateful I was to organize such a perfect suggestion. I knew that he had put it in the agreement of the weekend for many hours and I would have wanted nothing else to have been a little different. I tried to make it clear that I was worried that I personally let my fingers slide the haze after the commitment. That it didn’t do anything wrong.
I still still feel a general version of this debt while I tap it. I went to the wedding after a wedding when I was single and hoped that I would have my own wedding one day. But at that time this possibility seemed incredibly far away. If I were reading an article like this at the time, I would have felt annoying and frustrated that I had to scroll from someone through a negative stream of consciousness that didn’t know how happy she was.
But in a way it was exactly that because I had wanted it for so long that I was decided to make the best of it.
My partner heard me. He (right) said he thought I would concentrate too much on doing the commitment in a certain way if it was actually different for everyone – but he was more than happy to build up in solemn times.
The next night we ignited candles at home and began to write a first guest list in our new “wedding” photography. This already felt different from an average evening at home, which really asked anyway. I just wanted things to feel different from the norm. The night afterwards we went to dinner in our favorite restaurant and played champagne. And we spent the rest of the weekend celebrating with friends.
Now it is obvious where these shaky feelings came from on the night of our engagement. It was the first day of my period – when I usually felt at home with a heating pillow as if the world ends – combined with adrenaline waves from the proposal and the alcohol we had before. I don’t do it well with any of these things in the best times, let alone when they are all mixed together. It was not surprising that I felt shaky. Now I feel silly because I have stressed so much.
Ultimately, I was thrilled to be engaged, and that was all that was important; We can celebrate at any time if we want. We did not have to spend the week immediately after the proposal soaked in champagne, shining and holding hands without interruption and talking about nothing but wedding color schemes.
But I am also glad that I took it, was honest with my partner and made sense to really live at the moment. Maybe we had to build the scaffolding for the “engagement bubble” ourselves and build it up in a busy working week – but I am grateful that we did it.
After all, this week after the commitment only happens once.
How do you see How about more R29, exactly here?
I got engaged and went on a romantic short vacation – alone
We derived our engagements – and celebrated them