August 1st is the day of the national friend.
My best friend Jessi always told me: “I just have fun with you.”
Of course I love when she says, even though I know it is not true. Jessi has a great life in Michigan-Sie is surrounded by people who love and her dog seats for an English bulldog called Tucker, who is like the definition of fun.
Tucker
Although it is true that we laughed at infinity loop about our over 20 years of friendship, we also had to deal with many hard things such as death and cancer and younger brothers.
Jessi was my emotional support. And science shows that emotional support for women in relation to friendship has a top priority. And women are more common than men who rely on friends in stressful situations.
Read: someone who likes: The meaning of friends for mental health >>
“Emotional support is the most important element that can help a person go through a difficult time,” said Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a psychologist based in Los Angeles who specializes in life transitions and relationships. “They don’t feel alone. They do not feel like isolated by people. They do not sink into depression, sadness or anger as far because they can venture when they trust someone and know that it will take care of it.”
The key, said Thomas, is too good emotional support in offering a safe, attack -free zone so that your friend is susceptible enough to share her feelings and concerns completely. If you share your own experiences with difficult times, you can help your friend feel less alone – but just make sure that you don’t try to turn the conversation over to concentrate on you. “People can do this without meaning,” said Thomas.
No friendship is perfect and no two relationships are the same. But no matter how close (friendly tip: If you go to Doorash Ice Cream, make sure you are at home. Ants never make a situation better.)
We asked Thomas for advice what they say and how they should support their friend emotionally when times are hard.
Here you will find your tips on how you can support someone in five frequent difficult situations.
1. A diagnosis of the state of health
What to say: “I’m there for you. You can always talk to me – you are not a burden. I want to help you how I can.”
It is scary and overwhelming, with an illness or illness – no matter how serious – diagnosed. Some people can withdraw or try to hide their feelings because they do not appear in need or want to burden people with the reality of their situation.
Let your friend know in advance that you rely on you and do not feel guilty (if you feel that way). And if you ever believe that you rely too much on you to examine yourself, because there are opportunities that this is not the case.
2. Death
What to say: “I’m so sorry for your loss. What can I do to help you?”
After a beloved person has died, most people tend to be deaf or shocked. Therefore, it is a good idea to ask questions to understand what your friend needs during this time. And because you may not think, try to offer suggestions that can help reduce stress. For example, can I bring dinner? Can I call someone for the funeral arrangements? Do you need your laundry?
The same can apply to emotional needs. Would you like to talk about your loved one? Should I stay over? Would you like to mourn space for yourself?
Grief is complex, and what your friend wants/needs from day to day can change. Therefore, it is a good idea to check in with you regularly, even if it is just a text or a voicemail so you know that you are there when you are ready.
Read: Expert advice to go through your first holiday season after the loss of a loved one >>
3. Loneliness
What to say: “I’m so happy that you told me. It’s not easy, but you are not alone. Everyone feels lonely in their life at some point.”
The most important thing first: If your friend tells you that he feels lonely – recommend it. Let them know that they appreciate how honest they are and that loneliness is common – too often these days.
Ask your friend how you want you to be there for you. Perhaps it plans a weekly facetime or planning walks after work or for lunch at the weekend. Or if you are interested in dating, offer to be a wing person. If you both mix, try double data.
Advancating loneliness is the first step, and finding out what to do about it can help your friend break the cycle and connect with the things you enjoy in life.
4. Relationship problems
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What to say: “I’m sorry that you go through this – I’m here to listen.”
Maybe her friend had a big fight with her partner. Or things become separation pool. Of course, it goes without saying that you want to kick someone who dares to annoy your friend, but in this case you don’t want to say (or do it!) What can endanger your friendship on the less ractic street.
Let your friend know that you are there for you, but in the end it is your boo, your relationship and you do not want to influence important life decisions.
If you stay in your lane, this can also mean that you suggest couple therapy or individual therapy to help your friends find the best way forward without taking a party.
5. Family drama
What to say: “Tell me what happened.”
The family of everyone is a little messy. And you don’t have to be two-episodes of the Bärbad to know that family dynamics can be complicated.
If you listen to your friend’s side, you can both win a perspective. And follow-up questions like: “Did you accidentally do something or say what the answer caused?” can also help.
If your friend is honest with himself, he can take a moment to think about her role in the drama.
You have a friend in me
Friendship is not easy. It requires a lot of hard work and effort and sharing inspiring tops to create a bond that tracks down everything through life.
But if you are like me, you know that it is an honor to be part of the support team.
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