A month ago my daughter, who is now grown and living her own life, moved back to my city and I am thrilled. My “joy cycles” are working overtime, inspiring me to do things like bake a pumpkin pie (it’s January, not December, after all) and ask my husband Walt to drop it off at her house along with a bowl of freshly whipped cream.
Still, I wonder if rapture would have come knocking at my door if I hadn’t now eliminated the dozens of “stress circuits” that lurk in everyone’s emotional brain, including mine.
I do not think so. My perfectionism circuit would likely activate, drawing my attention to what’s going wrong, and my “I’m not worthy” wire, coupled with my old shame circuit, would fill me with enough self-doubt to deal with her argue, or, at least I’m obsessed with how I could spoil this wonderful time of being close again.
In the world of emotional brain training (EBT), all thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are just circuits, and we rewire the ones that cause us stress. I’ve done a lot of this rewiring, to the point that with the good fortune of my daughter moving back to the city and all the rewiring from stress circuits to joy circuits, I’ve changed my entire idea of how the world works.
I used to be so rational. We all have two types of circuits: the homeostatic, health-promoting circuit, and the allostatic circuit, which causes us to spiral out of control and lead to problems in all areas of life. Our job is to notice when we feel bad, use the EBT app, and feel good again – with the side effect of making small but important progress in restoring our brains to optimal health and fullness seven rewards of a purposeful life: sanctuary, authenticity, aliveness, integrity, intimacy, spirituality and freedom.
Now the joyful thinking has taken over. I see all of these bad, traumatic experiences in my life, stored as stress circuits in my amygdala, not as my “emotional baggage,” but as little suitcases of joy patiently waiting for me to unleash them. The inevitable pain of life is more like a potential energy pulsating with the possibility of unleashing its power and greatness. I carry this treasure of joy within me.
The question is: How much joy can I endure? Is there such a thing as being “overjoyed”? That’s a question for another day. For now, it is enough to hold on to the image of my entire being that has the potential for joy. Instead of being on guard about what misfortune will come our way next in life, why not imagine that behind every repressed negative emotion and every stored cord from past trauma, we carry a multitude of brain circuits that are just waiting for it can unleash their joy on us?
If I still had my food circuit, the thought of it would make me want to eat a piece of cake even though my belly is slightly full from lunch. Instead, I can bear knowing that thinking about my potential for joy will have to wait. For now, I will enjoy the joy in the form that comes to it in this moment. That alone is a joy.