Ahaṅkāra and Loving Yourself until Death
“Ahaṅkāra is the concept of separation and individuality. It is often defined as the ego though this term has many meanings in the West. Ahaṅkāra gives us the sense of “I”. I am this, and I am that. It is ahaṅkāra that says, “I am a writer” or “I am a parent”. Ahamkara is responsible for all self-identification. Whose clothes are these? Ahamkara says, “These are my clothes”.
Ahaṅkāra is necessary to create a body and mind. This is “my” body, these are “my” ideas. Ahaṅkāra separates us from everyone and everything else. In Yoga, ahaṅkāra is often seen as the enemy. In the Gheraṇḍa Saṃhitā it says, “ahaṅkāra is the enemy that must be defeated to attain Self-Realization.” Many stories in Vedic literature have represented ahaṅkāra as a demon (asura) whereas ātman (soul) is represented by the devatas (God or Demigods). For this reason, some yogis and teachers have somewhat of a hatred of the ego. Some use language and go as far as to say that the ego must be killed or destroyed. I do not ascribe to this. Hatred of the ego is just another aversion (dveṣa). This quickly devolves into self-harm and self-abuse through negative internal self-talk, or through taking extreme actions that injure the body. I prefer the path of self-love and acceptance.
We can accept ourselves and love the ego until death. As we learn to love ourselves, we also learn to love others and allow in their love. In doing so, we find the unity we seek and transcend ahaṅkāra.”