As told to Nicole Audrey Spector
That night – the night that changed my life – it was late and I was alone in my home studio, deeply focused on my work.
I am a florist and run my own business. I had a wedding coming up and was busy processing flowers. Suddenly I felt pain between my shoulder blades – along my angel wings, as my father would call them. I wondered if I might have tweaked something while carrying buckets of flowers. Maybe it would subside in a minute or two.
Then I felt sick. I went into the living room where my husband Aaron was working on his laptop. The nausea made me think that maybe my blood sugar was low. I was always on the verge of hypoglycemia but never needed treatment.
“You probably need to eat something,” my husband said. “Why don’t you have some leftovers?”
2021, Shayai designs a floral pattern (Photo/Amanda Kinsey)
I heated up some chicken in the microwave and took it to my studio. As I took a bite, I winced. The chicken that had tasted delicious just a few hours ago tasted terribly wrong – just bad. And that’s when I knew something more serious was going on with me.
When I was a child, I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition called supraventricular tachycardia (SVT), which can cause a fast heart rate (tachycardia) and irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia). I also have Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome (WPW), a congenital heart disease that causes extra electrical conduction in your heart and also causes tachycardia.
Complications from these illnesses had landed me in the emergency room in the past. In 2000 I had a cardiac ablation. This is a procedure that, in simple terms, burns off the excess wires in your heart.
Because of my illness, I have always been deeply in tune with my heart. I go for cardiological examinations regularly and can sense very well when something is wrong. I usually notice a fluttering in my heart or brain fog. No back pain, nausea or sudden food aversion.
My husband and I agreed that I needed immediate medical attention – which isn’t easy considering how far we are from a hospital emergency room and how few paramedics are on duty within 100 miles.
I am a Native American woman, a tribal citizen of two federally recognized tribes: the Pueblo of Acoma and the Pueblo of Laguna. I was born and raised on the reservations about 50 miles west of Albuquerque.
It’s a rural life with a strong community spirit. We’re not just neighbors, we’re a tribe that’s stuck together through thick and thin. We celebrate together, celebrate together and do charitable work together. Because we are all so incredibly close, my husband and I were able to keep our two sleeping children in their beds that night. My parents, who live next door to us, rushed over to keep watch.
As my husband sped down the highway with me in the passenger seat, I was worried – but not for myself. I assumed this was just a minor cardiac event related to my symptoms that could be quickly resolved. What worried me was my work – those flower arrangements. I didn’t want to have any problems getting this done. The wedding was just a few days away. I thought about how devastated the bride would be if her vision didn’t come to life.
On the way to the hospital, a new symptom appeared: heartburn, or what heartburn felt like I imagined it would feel like. I had never had it before. Then another symptom: pain in the jaw area. That was also something completely new for me. I was confused.
2023, Shayai collects plant medicine (Photo/Joel Wigelsworth)
As soon as I entered the emergency room and told a nurse that something seemed wrong with my heart, I was taken to the main triage room without being officially checked in again. Within minutes, I was hooked up to an IV and given aspirin (a blood thinner that can prevent blood clots, the leading cause of heart attacks) and nitroglycerin (which improves blood flow to the heart). I was also hooked up to an EKG.
I tried to keep the mood light by joking with the nurses, and although they laughed with me, it was clear they were worried. I was already very tired and wanted to sleep. They told me I had to stay awake. What they said next really shocked me.
“We believe this all has something to do with your heart and we want to get you to a heart hospital in Albuquerque.”
As my mind wandered, I asked if an ambulance was on the way.
“No, we’ll fly you over.”
What? Everything happened so quickly now, even late at night. My husband and I called our family to update everyone.
Before the flight, I was injected with a cocktail of medications to stabilize my blood pressure and oxygen levels (which can be affected by changes in altitude). The helicopter ride, my first ever, was loud, cramped and completely uncomfortable. I still tried to keep the mood light by making the flight crew laugh and asking if they could fly over my house. Not even a near-fatal event can dampen my sense of humor.
When I arrived at the heart hospital, I was examined by the on-call cardiologist who told me blankly, “Well, you had a heart attack.” My husband and I looked at each other, gasping. It was the first time we heard those words. I burst into tears. I was only 43 years old. Then the cardiologist immediately left the room, confused. The nurse was the person who comforted us with the news.
I did have heart problems, but never anything like a heart attack – and I later learned that my heart attack had nothing to do with my other problems.
I asked for another cardiologist because the one who broke the news to us had terrible bedside manner. I was then seen by a far more professional cardiologist who, along with the warm-hearted nurse, explained to me what needed to happen: an emergency angioplasty, in which a stent is inserted into your heart to open up blood flow. My heart was 100% blocked.
Not only did I have a heart attack, but I also had what is called a widowmaker, which is a death sentence for most: About 88% of people who have this heart attack die if they don’t get immediate medical attention. Women are even more likely to die.
The surgery required more time in the hospital and more time working on the wedding. I was very afraid of letting the bride down. So a call came to my church and I got an excellent florist to fill in for me.
While I was on the phone, I finally had a chance to talk to my parents. Then my father told me. “Shayai,” he said, “you cannot rule the world if you are sick.”
These words hit me so deeply. Women are told that they cannot be successful unless they are always busy. And so I was always busy, not only running my own challenging business, but also serving on boards and collaborating with various organizations. I rarely took it easy or said “no” to an opportunity.
I spent the time before surgery sending cancellation emails. I felt guilty about it, but in that moment I knew it was time to make space for my own well-being.
The angioplasty was a success and several years have passed since my heart attack. Doctors determined that the cause was that my body was producing too much calcium. There was one telltale sign that I didn’t realize was a sign until after the heart attack: tiny white dots like little pimples on my arms. No cream or peeling would get rid of them. Turns out they were caused by calcium leaching through my skin.
I always tell people: scan your body for anything unusual and get your calcium levels checked.
2023: Shayai advocates for rural entrepreneurship on Capitol Hill
A few years ago, a pastor gave the keynote address at a wellness meeting for social justice advocates. She said, “Brunch with the girls and manicures/pedicures is not true self-care. Self-care is saying no to disorders that affect you physically or mentally. True self-care is saying no.”
When she said those words, my guilt about all those resignations disappeared.
Today, I’m focused on my business, my community, and educating local people about heart disease prevention. Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the American Indian/Alaska Native (AI/AN) population. And there’s a lot of political complexity behind it.
The U.S. government has historically restricted Native communities’ access to adequate medical care and nutrition. The Pueblo people have always been an agricultural people, growing grains and food. But now few of us can do that because we deal with water rights, land rights and other issues. The current situation of heart disease is characterized by many historical complexities.
I’m passionate about working with others to advocate for our rights and make a difference, but I don’t let that work consume me. Together with my community, I focus on making health fun. We now offer heart-healthy dishes, gluten-free dishes, kidney diet options and vegetarian dishes on our holidays. We are always teaching others new delicious ways to prepare our traditional and cultural dishes.
Additionally, we cheer each other on when it comes to hydration and exercise. As a people, we are physically small and strong because we are designed to work physically. It is important that we remain true to our body’s needs and honor the heritage built within it. Our bodies are worth it. My body is worth it. And yours too.
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Our “Real Women, Real Stories” are the authentic experiences of real-life women. The views, opinions and experiences shared in these stories are not endorsed by HealthyWomen and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of HealthyWomen.
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